Plain White Card

[ EMILY, spoken ]
Hello! Welcome to Wicker Witch of the West!

[ MAN ]
I'm looking for a plain white card
Nothing fancy
Nothing bright
Just a regular rectangular card
That's right!

[ EMILY, spoken ]
Hmm, could be tricky... I'm not so into white...
This is Luke, by the way!

[ MAN ]
I need to write "congratulations" on a plain white card
For my triplets' confirmations
How hard can it be?!
White stationery

[ EMILY, spoken ]
Doing my best here, sir!

[ MAN, spoken ]
You look familiar, son. Have I seen you on TV?
Yes, I have! You're in a local commercial, aren't you?

[ LUKE, spoken ]
Uh, no...

[ MAN, spoken ]
Huh

[ EMILY, spoken ]
This one's got a tiny bit of glitter

[ MAN, spoken ]
Uh, no
Do we attend the same church? St. Agnes

[ LUKE, spoken ]
No, my folks go to Heavenly Day, up on Hillcrest

[ MAN, spoken ]
Huh. Ha, I swear I've seen you on TV!

[ EMILY, spoken ]
Sorry we struck out on this one, but might I direct your attention to these handsome bird chapels. They're just in!

[ MAN ]
Handsome, indeed!
Quaint little people

[ EMILY ]
The steeple's where you pour the seed!

[ MAN ]
I'll take one, please
For our backyard!

[ EMILY, spoken ]
Super

[ MAN, spoken ]
Word of advice?

[ EMILY, spoken ]
Please

[ MAN ]
I suggest you invest
In a plain white card!

[ EMILY, spoken ]
Thanks for coming in!
God, that's all I sell. One per day. Remind me why we live here!