Phony Four MC’s Wappin’ (Bubblehead)

[Intro]
This is the story, it shouldn't be known
About how we couldn't make it on the microphone

White man
You came here to throw down today and play the beat right
So, let's do it
We're going to rock it
Rock it three, rock it four, five times
Are you ready to go again?
Let's do it, here we go
Uno, dos, tres, quatro!

[Verse 1]
Yes we are the Phony Four MC's
And we are the worst rappers there ever could be
We all got together to run this rap
We know we're bad, we know we're wack
We tried to write rhymes, but they were wrong
But now we got you rocking 'cause the beat is on
Introducing to you, he's a part of the crew
We call him Bubblehead and we know you will too

[Verse 2]
They call me Bubblehead because of my hat
I never take it off 'cause I got it like that
I said under my hat man is my head
And when I let go it slips off again
When it hit the floor, it bounce two times
And that's the way I think of this rhyme
Sometime you know, I forgettin' my rap
But when I hit it with a bat, it come right back
Once on my way to play football
I slipped on a rock and took a terrible fall
When I woke up I had a splittin' headache
I smoked some curried goat and I started to break
So from that day I knew how to rap
I had more than a big head under my cap
So if you don't think you know how to rap
Just fall on your head or hit it with a bat, oh!

Say, man, are you ready to throw down now (Sí)
And play the beat right? (I-I'm ready now)
So put the bass in the place (That's right), ha
(Okay, testing) Here we go (Testing, testing uno, dos)
(Testing, uno, dos)
Are you ready man? Let's do it
(Okay) Ah, ah, ah-ah, ooh, ooh

[Verse 3]
My name is Papo, I know I'm cool
Because in my bathroom I got the swimming pool
And when I get funky, I got to take a scrub
My bath swimming pool turns into a tub
When I get out the tub I leave
Nice and clean and squeaky
I put on my new cologne
It's called "Something Freaky"
I went downtown to try my rap
I said *kiss* baby, I got my face slapped
I got on the floor to do the breakdance
I spun on my knee and burned a hole in my pants
And when I stopped spinning, and I looked down
A piece of my pants was still burning on the ground
But I kept my cool, I was no fool
I just go on and get in my swimming pool!

Ahh haha whoa!
Oy baby (Whoa), you want to go swimming with me?
(Swim with you? What you think I want to swim with you for, child?
What's all that "wappin'"? This is rap music we on, rap music)
Oh, this is rap music, excuse me
(Excuse my butt)

[Verse 4]
Listen y'all, I got things to do
I ain't got no time to be rapping with you
But since I'm here, I might as well talk
And break in my new jeans and practice my walk
I put my hands on my hips, I let my backbone slip
Got mascara on my eyes and gloss on my lips
And I'm going downtown to have a real good time
I'm gonna do it right with some friends of mine
Like Debbie, Sha Sha, and Lady B
So get dressed Miss Thing, 'cause you comin' with me
I got some friends I want you to meet
And I know you're gonna like 'em 'cause they're sweet like me

That's right, sweet like me
What you say? You don't think I'm sweet?
Honey, I think I'm sweet
Look, I just did my nails, child, look at these nails
Love [?], lovin' and [?] and
Hey, Papo!
Bubblehead, what's happenin' y'all?
What y'all doing? Y'all rapping?
Can I throwdown?
Hey, who's that fool you got with you man?
Wait a minute, who's that?
Ah, no
I like your earrings, I like your jeans, you got muscles
Muscles I like
I don't care what you like
Get away from me, you wimpy fool
Mmmm
I said mmm

[Verse 5]
Hey everybody, do you know me?
My face is in the papers and on TV
I know you know my name 'cause it's easy to spell
So listen wimpy fool to the story I'ma tell
I hates when peoples thinks I'm wild
Just because of my chains and my new hair style
But I'm a real nice guy and I want you to know
So sit the hell down and hear how it go
I likes pickin' daisies and takin' em home
I puts my feets in the creek with no shoes on
I like shavin' my head a hundred times
I like greasin' my face until it shines
I like wearin' my socks until they break
I like eatin' A1 without no steak
But there's one thing that makes me mean
[?] to seein' that wimpy fool in those tight jeans
I pity the fool who steps on my feet
'Cause I knock 'em to the ground and I do it to the beat
And if you step on my corns, I'll do it again
I'll beat you, the wimpy fool, and the wimpy fool friends

So say "ho" (Ho)
Say "wimpy fool" (Wimpy fool)
Say "wimpy fool friend" (Wimpy fool friend)
Now say it like me and do it again
Say "ho" (Ho)
Say "wimpy fool" (Wimpy fool)
Say "wimpy fool friend" (Wimpy fool friend)

Say we're havin' a party so get out your seat
Tell me where you don't step (On your feet!)
Ha ha ha

Too hot to party, so you know where to go
You can get in the pool with who? (Papo!)
You know that

If you're at a party and the DJ's wack, what do you do?
(Hit him with a bat!)
Hit him real hard

When it's time to get down and dance to the beat
I'll be on the floor with you 'cause I'm ([?] sweet)
Thank you, I love you all

I-I like to thank everybody for makin' this record
And I'd like to thank y'all for buyin' this record
And, and I'd like to Debbie and Sha Sha and Lady B
Lady B kinda big but I'm gonna thank her anyway
And I wanna thank my sister for lettin' me hold her clothes, and her blouses
And I wanna thank my mother and my father
'Cause they love me for who I am
Thank you

Say sweetie
It's about time you backed away from that microphone
(Back away? You wasn't tellin' me to back away last night, now was you mister?)
Wait a minute now, alright now
That's it, the party is over, it's through, the party is through
Y'all have upset me
I'll tell you boy, listen wimpy fool
You don't know nothin' about me and you never will
Now the party is over
Everybody shut up, every—
It's time to get out of here
Get your coats, get your hats, get your sneakers
Get everything that belong to you and get out of here
I said shut up, I sa—
Shut up!