Permanent for Me

I wake up at 8am, kiss her face and worry about the day ahead
Make the bed while I’m still in it, a trick I learned from the internet, OK? Ok
Take my dose of Adderall, 5mg should be enough today
Because I can’t focus on anything that isn’t on my phone or a video game anymore

I don’t like being home, I feel my roots begin to grow into a ground
That was never meant to be permanent for me

Permanent for me

Next to the piano bench, on Christmas day, I asked her to marry me (She said yes)
We spent the whole day traveling from house to house to tell our families
And that night she asked knowingly “What does this mean for our plans of leaving
For the west coast?” I said “Cassie, just one more year, then we’ll make our move away
From here. I swear, I swear I swear.” I think I hope I swear

She said, “I can’t stand living here, the more I do the more I fear the ground
Below will slowly come to be permanent for me”

Permanent for me

Should I let my heart get swallowed by this fear of giving in
Or stay hidden here forever on the beach of indifference?
The longer it’s in front of me the less clear it becomes
Do I want this to be permanent for me?

Permanent for me
Permanent for me
I hope it’s not permanent for me
I hope it’s not permanent for me
I hope it’s not permanent for me
I hope it’s not permanent for me