Passamashloddy

[DOC TERMINUS]
(spoken)
How wonderful to see your smiling faces again! I-I've never known such thought, such welcome, such loving hospitality!

[MAN]
(spoken)
Get out, ya quack!

[MAN]
(spoken)
And don't bring those phony remedies here again!

[WOMAN]
(spoken)
Go on back to where you belong, jail!

[TERMINUS]
(spoken)
Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you! I sense enthusiasm! I sense loving response! And that's why this is my home away from home

(sung)
I've been bringing cures from Pilgrim Heights to Provincetown
Treated rabid fever down on Queen Anne Road
Gout and gastritis, mumps or bronchitis
Bites and burns and blue abrasions
Got a pill for all occasions

Little Sipperwhissit was so nice to visit
And Scraggy-Neck is lovely to recall
[MAN]
(spoken)
Why didn't ya stay there?!
[TERMINUS]
But through all my trips
Good lord, there's one place
One corner, one town on my lips
Why its.................

Paddamaquassy? Uh, Paquamasoddy!
No, no. Passamamassy! Uh, Quaddamapoddy!
Uh, P-P-Passamackdaddy! Uh! Passamahoddy?
Oh. I know!......
It's Passamaschloddy!
[TOWNSPEOPLE]
(spoken)
No! It's Passamaquoddy!

[TERMINUS]
(spoken)
Of course, that's what I meant to say

[FAT WOMAN]
I took your drug for losing weight and now I'm a blob!
[TERMINUS]
But now that there's so much more of you to love

I've wiped out impetigo on the banks of Buttermilk
Flu is under firm control in Powderhole
Terminus Potions, Tablets and Lotions
Making news in modern science
Step up now and join my clients

Spent a day in Buzzard's Bay, they couldn't keep me there
Even turned away from Kingdom Hall
But since I was young
Good lord, there's one spot
One little bit of heaven on my tongue
Why its.................

Paddamaquassy? No, no, Paquamasoddy!
Uh. Passamamassy! Uh, Quaddamapoddy!
Uh, P-P-Passamackdaddy! Uh! Passamahoddy?
Oh. I know!......
It's Passamaschloddy!
[TOWNSPEOPLE]
(spoken)
No! It's Passamaquoddy!

[TERMINUS]
(spoken)
Of course, I knew it all the time

[MAN WITH PINK HAIR]
My hair was gray, and thanks to you it turned into pink!
[TERMINUS]
But that color, it's so becoming
[TOWNSPEOPLE]
We're gonna wash your phony tonics right down the sink!
[TERMINUS]
Wait!
Listen!
My specialties are
Audiology,Mycology, Sarology, Teritology
Embryology, Psychology, Zoology!
And every other 'ology' you can think of!

My friends, you're not giving me a chance
I've brought all these medicines back from Paris, France

(Townspeople "ooh")

(music break)

[WOMAN]
(spoken)
I believe the Doc!

[GIRL]
(spoken)
I trust him!

[MAN]
(spoken)
I put my life in his hands!

[TERMINUS]
My friends, you've seen a miracle and you'll see many more
People will come pouring in from land and sea
We'll have centers for testing, let's start investing
Keep those dimes and dollars mounting
[HOAGY]
I'll collect!
[TERMINUS]
I'll do the counting!

Everyone who lives here will be strong and healthy
You'll be getting richer by the day
[TOWNSPEOPLE]
(spoken)
Hooray!
[TERMINUS]
Hear them acclaim us
This town will be famous
The whole wide world will look at us and say
It's.............

Paddamaquassy? No, Paquamasoddy!
No, now. Passamamassy! Uh, Quaddamapoddy!
Uh, P-P-Passamackdaddy! Uh! Passamahoddy?
Quada-maddy-Deffer-daddy
Daffa-hossy-Quadda-possy
Quassa-passa-Passa-Quassa!
(cries)
[TOWNSPEOPLE]
Passamaquoddy!

[TERMINUS]
(spoken)
I know