Party Guy

The Speaker of the House calls and says:
"Tell Trump I'm not speaking to him anymore"
Then the candidate tweets:
"Ryan's a traitor
(Also, Miss Universe is a whore)"

A two-hour call to say:
"Donald, please just make an apology"
But Breitbart adds:
"Just don't tick off the core constituency"
Meanwhile half the Republican leadership called to say
"We are shocked! Shocked and appalled!"

And I just smile
I'm a party guy
Smile, toe the party line
Smile, even when you don't know why

Fox News asks me:
"Is Donald Trump a good role model for the youth of today?"
And I say:

"You know, I think everybody's a role model in their own way"
My biggest donor to The New York Times:

"Reince Priebus should be fired!"
You want to know how it's going?
Honestly I'm tired

But I just smile
I'm a party guy
Smile, toe the party line
Don't let them see you cry

On Monday night my finance guy told The Washington Post:
"The RNC is sinking fast and it's our own fault"

On Tuesday my director of communications said
He wasn't sure if grabbing genitals was sexual assault

The Wall Street Journal says:
"Republicans in an all-out war"

And late at night I ask myself
What were we even fighting for?

Smile, you're a party guy
Smile, you can't say that I didn't try
Smile, I don't need your flipping thanks
Just don't blame me when your country tanks

You take whatever victories you can get
So I'm not pouring Baileys in my cereal yet
Smile, whatever will be will be
I'll still have the party

Reince and the party
The party and me