Party Cows

It was a quiet night on MacDonald's farm
Except for up at the big red barn
It sounded like some kind of jamboree
The Holsteins were on a spree
They were party cows

They'd built them a fire, they'd raised a kettle of steam
A couple spare tubes from a milking machine
Some corn and alfalfa from a silage spill
And they built them a homemade still

[Chorus]
They were party cows
They were rowdy and loud
They were crude and rudе
They were in thе mood
They were on the move
They were hell on hooves
They didn't come home till dawn

They tucked up their tails and they danced round the fire
Playing bosa novas on the cowbell choir
They sang "Hey diddle diddle, let's shoot the moon"
And some of them were almost in tune
Cause they were party cows

They sat around laughing till they fell in fits
Telling filthy jokes about men with mitts
Till Bossy said "Gals, let's get outta here"
And they fired up the old John Deere

[Chorus]
They were party cows
They were rowdy and loud
They were crude and rude
They were in the mood
They were on the move
They were hell on hooves
They didn't come home till dawn

They plowed up Main Street, then cruised back down
They rode out to the campus on the edge of the town
They snuck in the house down at Delta Chi
And they tipped over drunken guys
Cause they were party cows

Now, I'm not endorsing this kind of wanton cruelty towards our fellow creatures. Just because they're large and not too bright doesn't mean they're not entitled to some modicum of dignity. But they do look pretty funny when they go over. They kinda wallow around on the floor going "Help, I've fallen and I can't reach my beer!" But in case you're concerned, let me reassure you: no actual Greeks were harmed in the making of this song

[Chorus]
They were party cows
They were rowdy and loud
They were crude and rude
They were in the mood
They were out all night
They were black and white
They didn't come home till dawn

Now the east was rosy, and the first birds called
When the cows staggered home and crawled back in their stalls
They were red in the eyes, they were green round the mouth
They were - udderly - partied out

(You saw that one coming)

It was a quiet morning on MacDonald's farm
Especially up at the big red barn
The cows seemed sluggish and oddly aloof
And the milk was 48 proof

[Chorus]
They were party cows
They were soggy and soused
They were bruised and confused
They looked pretty used
You could just tell
That they felt like hell
Cause they didn't come home till dawn
No they didn't come home till dawn