Parents of Honor Students

Here's another pack of low-grade morons who ought to be locked into portable toilets and set on fire.

These people with bumper stickers that say "we are the proud parents of an honor student at Franklin School." Or the Midvale Academy or whatever other innocent sounding name has been assigned to the indoctrination center where their child has been sent to be stripped of his individuality and turned into an obedient soul, dead conformist member of the American consumer culture.

"Proud parents!" What kind of empty people need to validate themselves through the achievements of their children? How would you like to have to live with a couple of these misfits?

"How’s that science project coming along Justin?"
"Fuck you dad. You simple-minded prick. Mind your own business and pass the Cheerios."

Here's a bumper sticker I'd like to see: "We are the proud parents of a child whose self esteem is sufficient that he doesn’t need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car."

Or "we are the proud parents of a child who has resisted his teacher's attempts to break his spirit and bend him to the will of his corporate masters." Just be a nice little for a change.

Here's something realistic: "We have a daughter in public school who hasn't been knocked up yet."

"We have a son in public school who hasn't shot any of his classmates yet. But he does sell drugs to your honor student. Plus, he knocked up your daughter."

Then there are the people who aren't too proud of their children. "We are the embarrassed parents of a cross-eyed little nitwit who, at the age of seven, not only continues to wet the bed but also shits on the school bus." Something like that on the back of the car might give the child a little more incentive, you know? Get him to try a little harder next semester.