Family Newsletters

These are the same parents who at Christmas time send you pictures of their children. Pictures you didn't ask for and you don't want. But it is fun throwing the pictures away, isn't it? I don't even look at the fucking Christmas card.

Who's this? Luanne is 12 this year. Fuck Luanne. I give a shit how old she is. Does she have any tits yet? Send me a picture of Luanne's tits. Then I know I'm going to have a happy New Year, too.

Then just to compound your holiday pleasure, they enclose a family newsletter. Just what you're hoping for, news about people you can barely fucking remember.

"We're so proud of Brad, he's been accepted into dental school." Yeah, in the Philippines...after four tries. Fuck Brad and everybody who looks like Brad.Judging from his picture, I'd say he's been jacking off too much. Keep him away from Luanne.