Parasite

[Verse 1]
Yeah, I could’ve continued calling them friends
But now they’re all shoulda coulda woulda beens
I know I’m wrong for asking countless assistance
And then deserting them after I have accomplished
Now I only know them as my acquaintances
Checking my absence and keeping my distance
Selfish heart that doesn’t care about others
I don’t grieve for others, I don’t bleed for my brothers no
I say I’m independent but I’m really not
Dependent on others long as I don’t get caught
I always put the blame onto those around me
Never swallowing my guilt I feel so cowardly
But that’s the role of a wolf who’s all alone
Traveling with a pack and then going off on his own
Never played well with other people
Sweet look on my face but inside I’m so evil
Leaching off of people, sucking them dry
I couldn’t care less if they all were to die
Man, those are the thoughts inside my head
Yeah, dead over the stuff that I could’ve said
I’ve always longed for a group of loyal friends
But not just friends but a family too
But no I’m always the one pushing away
I’m so afraid and because of that I feel so ashamed
They all tell me that I got a nice mask
I take it off and I swear they run so fast
So many reasons that I ignore and avoid
It could be jealousy or being locked in my void
Always giving the look so they don’t come near
Fear is better than feeling betrayed by a dear
And if you don’t believe I can tell you all about it
Three Musketeers and the one who got ravaged
That’s me that’s me I’m the one left behind
They can shine all they want but now it’s my time
And it’s not like they cared about the relationship
So they dived out and left me to man the ship
Rip off, I so didn’t ask for this, I’m so pissed
And now I got locks on my brain, body, and wrist
Didn’t want that to ever happen again
So I just decided to not have any more friends
And just pretend with my imagination
Driving me insane till the point of no patience
Patient, not a doctor I’m still a sick man
On a rant rambling stuff like take me as I am
Fans won’t love, fam doesn’t love me
So now I’m stuck in a place below everybody
Body full of pain, still stuck here in the rain
Vision jaded and now I cannot seem to aim
All this is making me so distant from my pals
Giving me that red card because of a foul
I just need my studies to be over with
So I can just be by myself relaxing my wits
I don’t need no friends they always bother me
Calling me to hang out but I’m never free
I just wanna be alone but then I dream
A group of friends that loves the same stuff as me
Not only that but we would cook together
Eat together, grow together, and be happy together
Never, it doesn’t seem that it would ever happen
Is that considered a desire or a need I’m not sure
Sure you can talk to me, sure you can speak to me
But that doesn’t mean that you should get cozy with me
I hope God can give me peace and fulfill my needs
Because everything about me makes me bleed
So then I feed on others for satisfaction
Get a group of heads and have their faces smashing
It seems as though I don’t really like this rapping
Ever since I started rambling on things that shouldn’t happen
Tired of the fray, sick and afraid, I need people
But in the end I always hate on other people
Man my whole life is a tug of war
Nobody has ever been close down to my core