Pale

As time moves on, I watch the color fade
The life in my face dies with the choices that I make
It seems I'll never get this right, so just fake it for tonight
The same old "I'll be alright". The same fake "I said I'm fine"

How can I have an ounce of confidence? How can I act like I'm proud?
When I do the same things to myself, always cutting myself down
I've given life my everything, but I still fell short
And if tomorrow isn't coming my way, I won't lose sleep

I am running and hiding from the thoughts of dying
That always seem to follow me at night
'Cause if you live in the moment and not a second past
You can lie to yourself about the things you'll never ask

A thousand pages set to flame
As I fall short, I'm the only one to blame
See I'm starving for something I can't comprehend
I can't hear anything over the noise of what's unsaid

The sinking feeling inside my chest comes easier than a night of rest

I'm losing color, fucking sick to my stomach
The cold sweat is making itself at home again
The poster child example of a lack of self control
Destroying what's mine, just because it's beautiful