Endless Emptiness

I will no longer set myself on fire
Just to see your eyes light up
If it's gone, I'm gone. If it's dead, I'm dead
So say it straight and don't you fucking pretend

I thought it would play out fine, but I'm still empty as ever
And I've seen every sign, but I'm still searching for more
Replay it over and over, seems I took the long road home

It's 3AM, you're fast asleep and I'm still losing it
Fucked myself again, another fresh start torn apart
So far from stable, I have no grip on this situation
'Cause I'm scared to know what it's like to stay in one place

Take me out of this mess I've made
Have your choice at a gun or a blade
But I can't do this any longer

I object to your rejection
Tell me who the fuck do you see in that reflection?

I can't explain how I got here
But I'm ready to face the mirror
And come to terms with what I fear

I keep telling myself I don't want to be here anymore
Why am I scared to death of any sort of constant?
So are the suicidal thoughts just a way to cope with the fact
That my reality is I'm dependent on your company?
Just wanted someone to talk to. Just wanted someone to listen
Decided the fighting wasn't worth my time
But it's hard to break this cycle when it's all I've ever known
I close my eyes and imagine the world without me