Outsider perspective

How do it look from an outside view
Couple chances I blew
Without a god damn clue
I’ve been searching far for something else brand-new
Hope my mind breaks through
But its stuck in glue

If theres a god i know that he hates me
Been fucked all my life, i’m still lovely
Need to distract with knacks my brains blurry
Filled up, no space, but still feel so empty

Envy, never struggled with it
I can't see
A reason not to leave
Its like im stuck inside a Camry
Driving off the hill
Without a worry in my head case
Blank face i’m staring into smoke
My heads an ashtray

From an outside mind
Should i really care if i waste my time?
Ive been sick of my life, and the acts i find
Do we really know if we waste our lives?
Im so done with what if?
And the paths they shiv
Into my side, no your dreams ain’t mine
Is it such a crime if i waste my time
Doing what i love with a dumb set mind

I never know
Do i move too slow?

How do it look from an outside view
Can this shit get through
Fore my head does poof
How do i feel from an inside look
Couple screws knocked loose
Off the top can't choose
Mother fuckers never liked me cus i speak said truth
No ones looking in the mirror, scared of how they’d look
Scared of disappointing figures, and the eyes they drew
Rib cage popping out but the moneys all blue

What will i do
Who will i see
Feeling like i can't breath
I can't make process
Living in the streets
I can't make music
Living in a dorm
I hope god saves me
Dont leave me alone
Spite on his name
In my brain
Paranoid
Will this shit work out
Will i end my life
Hope this shit saves me
I got nothing else
Wicked thoughts plague me
I just need some help