Opening Number

[ENSEMBLE]
The night is falling on Manhattan
And soon the daylight will be gone
Anticipation's all around you
As one by one the lights are coming on

And your feet wanna fly
And your pulse wants to raise
'Cause your free and you're young
And you're in the right place

You're right here
You're right now
You're a part of New York
As the night comes alive
In the heart of New York

Nothing more exciting
Nowhere more delicious
Everything's inviting
Everything's the best
Every soul is soaring
Everyone's ambitious
No one here is boring
Nothing in the world
Is like the feeling

[WOMAN, spoken]
The feeling that
Anything is possible here
Even the impossible
Is possibly possible in

[ENSEMBLE, sung]
New York

[MAN, spoken]
You dream when you're awake
Any dream can be
A dream come true in

[ENSEMBLE, sung]
New York

[MICHAEL DORSEY, spoken]
Underneath this city that is all pavement
Is a city that's all heart

[ENSEMBLE, sung]
God, this is exciting
Don't you feel giddy
Man, there is nothing like it
Boy, this is the best

[MICHAEL DORSEY, spoken]
Stop

[ENSEMBLE, sung]
Now your light is shining

[MICHAEL DORSEY, spoken]
Stop

[ENSEMBLE, sung]
Wow, this is a city

[MICHAEL DORSEY, spoken]
Stop

[RON CARLISLE, spoken]
Stop

[MICHAEL DORSEY, spoken]
Ron
Ron
Ron

[RON CARLISLE, spoken]
Stop

[MICHAEL DORSEY, spoken]
Ron

[RON CARLISLE, spoken]
Alright everybody, let's all stop the rehearsal again, because--because Mitchell has another compelling question

[MICHAEL DORSEY, spoken]
It's Michael. Dorsey. And would my character say, "The city is all heart"? He is a traumatized war vet evicted from his rent-controlled apartment during the sewage-baked heat of summer. All heart? I don't think so

[RON CARLISLE, spoken]
Where in the history of the printed libretto does it say any of that?

[MICHAEL DORSEY, spoken]
It's the back story I gave him

[RON CARLISLE, spoken]
Backstory? He--he doesn't even have a name! He's "Guy Who Walks By"

[MICHAEL DORSEY, spoken]
My character deserves his truth. I am just saying what every other actor on this stage is thinking

[RON CARLISLE, spoken]
Lovey, this is a Ron Carlisle show, my vision, me creating a living aggregate out of the imagination of nothing. You want out? You're out

[MICHAEL DORSEY, spoken]
Of the whole song?

[RON CARLISLE, spoken]
Ha, of the whole show. Of any show I ever do in the pantheon of ever and then even after that, after that

[MICHAEL DORSEY, spoken]
This opening number is benign and dishonest, directed by an inept, derivative hack and this musical sucks

[ENSEMBLE, sung]
This is the tale of Michael Dorsey
He is the center of the plot
Is he an actor?
Yes, of course, he is
Is he successful?
Yes, of course, he's not

That doesn't mean he isn't real good
No one in town would disagree
He really could be good as Gielgud
But you won't see his name on the marquee

[MICHAEL DORSEY, spoken with a Scottish accent]
Carla, I threw it all away for you
Just to cross that bridge, Carla
That damn grey bridge

[DIRECTOR #1, spoken]
That's fine Mr. Dorsey
We're looking for someone younger

[MICHAEL DORSEY, spoken]
Oh, I can be younger

[DIRECTOR #1, spoken]
Actually, We're looking for someone shorter

[MICHAEL DORSEY, spoken]
Oh wait
See, I can be shorter

[DIRECTOR #1, spoken]
Actually, were looking for somebody different

[MICHAEL DORSEY, spoken]
Sounds to me like you don't know
What the hell you're looking for

[DIRECTOR #1, spoken]
We're looking for somebody else
Get out!

[ENSEMBLE, sung]
And now there is something quite familiar
He feels it rising like the moon
He's feeling victimized and bitter
Like nothing good is gonna happen soon
The odor of humiliation
Begins to permeate the room
The putrid stench of it surrounds him like
An inexpensive prostitute's perfume

[MICHAEL DORSEY, spoken]
Mommy, daddy, come quick
Something's wrong with Biscuit
He was chasing his tail
And then he fell down the well

[DIRECTOR #2, spoken]
That's good, but can you do it happier?

[MICHAEL DORSEY, spoken]
Happier?
The kid's dog just plunged down a well to its death
Why would he be happy?

[DIRECTOR #2, spoken]
'Cuz Im the director
And that's how the playwright wrote it

[MICHAEL DORSEY, spoken]
Then tell the playwright he's wrong

[DIRECTOR #2, spoken]
I'm also the playwright
Get out!

[ENSEMBLE, sung]
And his feet start to throb
And his head starts to ache
As he can't get a job
And he can't catch a break

[MEN]
But he's free
And he's young

[WOMEN]
He's not young

[MEN]
Yeah, that's true

[ENSEMBLE]
All that they want is someone
Who's exactly not you!

Someone more exciting
Someone more attractive
Someone they can deal with
Not a snotty jerk
They need someone nicer
Someone less reactive
Can you really blame them?
Will he ever work?

[DIRECTOR #3, spoken]
Get out!

[ENSEMBLE, sung]
Wow, he's batting zero
Dude, he's so pathetic
How does he keep going
Maybe he should stop
No! It's gonna happen
Soon they'll all be clapping
Soon he's gonna make it
He's gonna make it to the top
He's gonna make it to the top
He's gonna make it to the

[MICHAEL DORSEY, spoken]
No more orders
Kitchen's closed!

[ENSEMBLE, sung]
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