“One More Time for Old Times’ Sake”

[Paul Heyman enters the ring, with visible tears in his eyes listening to the crowd. “Thank You Paul” Chants from the crowd. Heyman looks very emotional. More “ECW” Chants from the crowd]

I want you to know that I’m not crying…my eyes are red because I was in the back smoking a joint with Van Dam. I have a need in my heart to thank Tod Gordon for giving me the chance to be creative and book for you crazy bastards. I have a need to thank that man Ron Buffone and his partner Charlie Bruzzese for sticking with us and sitting in a TV Studio and building that TV show for you...you are the craziest bastards I have ever met in my life...I love every one of you. And I was gonna take the high road and just say thank you and leave... but I have something to say to you! [points to WWE Wrestlers in the balcony]

You see...I’ve waited a long time to say this to you...Eric Bischoff! But in case you don’t notice...it’s not Paul Heyman with his tail between his legs going to a WCW PPV…YOU ARE IN OUR HOUSE...BITCH! [Bischoff answers with the middle finger as the crowd cheers and chants “ECW”] Oh wait a minute… wait a minute… wait a minute...hide your wives...it’s Edge! [Crowd begins to chant “You Screwed Matt” to Edge as he reacts with a laugh and starts drinking his beer] Now Edge...I know nobody with a written promo has the balls to say this to you, but I have two words for you...MATT-FREAKIN’-HARDY! [Crowd erupts in a massive pop and starts chanting “We Want Matt!” as Edge does a spit take with his beer]

Well, with that... [looks at JBL] I almost forgot about you! Mr. Shoot Promo himself! Bounced checks, ECW went out of business. Hey, John, on a personal note, from all of us just to you, since you want to shoot, cowboy...the only reason you were WWE Champion for a year, is because Triple H didn’t want to work Tuesdays! [JBL mocks Heyman by imitating Redd Foxx telling Elizabeth that he’s coming to heaven with a heart attack as the crowd erupts in approval] Now, one more time, for old times sake, right there so the whole world can see us! This ain’t WCW! This ain’t Monday Night RAW! This ain’t SmackDown! This ain’t even WWE! This, my friends...is E-C-FUCKING-W!

[Crowd chants “ECW” as Paul Heyman exits the Hammerstein Ballroom]