On The Road

We're on the road
Off to another show
We got to go
I'll call you later bro

Every year, for about five months
To be very clear, I go out and find funds
To collect from the many
That are particular about their pennies
And won't spend a cent
Unless there's perks and the bennys

So I travel in a van that was down by the river
Go out into the land understand I am the giver
Got my quiver full of raps and I'm ready to attack
Brought along some books in case I don't want to nap
We stay at Super 8s dine at Waffle after hours
I like 'em smothered, fingers covered in biscuit powder
Seldom shower. Scare them hoes right out of the lot
All I needs a nap and a bit little pot what you got?

My roadies got a room; falls asleep to slasher flicks
He's likes Jason over Freddy if he ever had to pick
We rent a Dodge Caravan, got stow-and-go seating
The road might sound redundant but it does bear repeating

We're on the road
Off to another show
We got to go
I'll call you later bro

I brought house music
I hate disc jocks
I like Cracker Barrel
I like their gift shop
I like their pork chops
I like their peg game
I like old people
They all got leg pain
I like rest stops
That's where dogs shit
I hide behind a tree
And take a bong hit
I like Cool Ranch
But I'll take Nacho Cheese
Oh no it starts to rain
Pass me my poncho please
Time to mic check
Find the ladies room
It's always clean and empty
Time to drop a deuce
You never read the news
You grow apathetic
Mic check gives you a headache like when you play Kinetic
No ones heard of me wish I could mercury like T2
Kids say "I wish I could be you" suddenly I don't feel so see through
Feeling artsy and cold car seats can't steamed up waffle windows
Did I say Kinetic? I meant Wii-U by Nintendo

We're on the road
Off to another show
We got to go
I'll call you later bro

Every year, for no foreseeable end
To be very clear, I go out and find friends
You're everywhere it makes one's mind bend
When I was young I was the one no one would defend
But now kids, they get in a line
I've been to far away locales and they still getting the lines
They're getting younger ever summer
I'm getting older than wine
Now I'm advising and reminding them to open they minds
I get on stage, veins pop out of my face
Sweat pours out my pores
Like this war is a race
I say "put your hands up"
No punk is out of place
And we do rap hands
While i ...
Meet and greet is super sweet
Lasts as long as the show
No cuts no ...
Back of the line you must go
I'm disarmin' and I'm charmin' and my sharpie is spent
....then we duck into the van and we jet

We're on the road
Off to another show
We got to go
I'll call you later bro