Old Murders

I also watch this show called Cold Case Files. On Cold Case Files, they solve old murders, and it's really interesting 'cause what I learned from it is that it was really easy to get away with murder before they knew about DNA. It was ridiculously easy. Like, what was even going on back then? What was a murder investigation like in 1935? One cop would just walk in and be like, "Detective! We found a pool of the killer's blood in that hallway!" And he would just be like, "Hmm… gross! Mop it up. Now then, back to my hunch… Hmm…. Look for clues. I'll tell you what we'll do! We'll draw chalk around where the body is. That way, we'll know where it was."

Also, a couple years ago, I saw this movie called Public Enemies with Johnny Depp. It was about old bank robbers and stuff. Here's how easy it was to get away with bank robbery back in the '30s. As long as you weren't still there when the police arrived, you had a 99% chance of getting away with it. To the point that, like, those old bank robbers, they take credit for the bank robberies! Like, they come running out of there and they're like "Ha, ha, ha! And if anyone asks, you tell 'em it was Golden Joe and the Suggins Gang!" And then they like shoot Suggins into the side of the wall. It's like, what, were bullets free back then? And they don't even disguise themselves. They dress up for the bank robbery. They're rolling in there in like big suits and hats like they're going to church in Atlanta. They make a day of it!

I don't know about that. Oh-ho-ho! Oh good, it has a mind of its own. That's very reassuring. No, no, no, no… I don't like robots thinking of things. I hope you don't mind that I dressed up. It was my first communion today so I decided to come right from it. I was a very good first communicant.