Old Maid

Well, I'll tell you a story of a burglar man
He-a went to rob a house, huh
He raised up the window and in he crept
Just as softly as a mouse, huh
A-thinkin' of the money he was goin' to rob-a
As under the bed he lay-a
That cat sure saw a sight that night
That made his hair turn gray
Heh-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha

About nine o'clock, an old maid came in-a
Ha, "I'm awfully tired", she said, heh-heh
Thinkin' that everything was alright
She forgot to look under the bed-a
A-well, she pulled out her teeth, her big glass eye
The hair right off of her head, huh
That chick was comin' all apart, heh-ha-ha
The burglar had 'bout nineteen fits
And he came from under the bed-a

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha
What a mess

Well-a, from under the bed-a, the burglar came-a
He was a total wreck-a
The old maid, she didn't holler at all
She just grabbed him 'round the neck
And from her drawer, a revolver she drew-a
To the burglar man, she said-a
"Young man, if you don't kiss me now
I'll blow off the top of your head", ah-ha-ha-ha

A-well, he looked at her teeth-a, her big glass eye
He had no place to scoot-a
He said to the old lady standin' there
"Woman, for the Lord's sake-a
Woman, for the Lord's sake
Woman, go ahead and shoot"