Oh Men!

Oh men, what are we like?
Why can't we just stop gazing?
Why must we always ogle?
What makes them so amazing?

Sometimes it's just a bosom
Sometimes it's just a wiggle
Sometimes it's just the rump
Or just the jeans, or just the jiggle

Be they schoolgirl, be they teacher
Be they housewife, be they hussy
Be they scholar, be they halfwit -
Face it, boys, we're just not fussy!

Now, I don't think we're all the same
But I think there's few exceptions -
Yes, we all love to lech
We're all slaves to our erections

And they say we don't grow up
That we all just need our mothers
And they've maybe got a point
But listen to me, brothers:

We can claim it's just our nature
We can swear it's just our way
But that's a modern myth
It's just the easy thing to say

Because Mother Nature says that women
Should find the fittest donor -
Yes, they should sleep around
And Man should be the loner!

And women once were worshipped
Until Christians crashed the scene
And said, 'Your place is in the home
And your pleasure is obscene!'

So don't mistake your woman
For your plaything or your prey
Cause she'll probably outshine you
In almost every way

Yes, you can do your cleaning
And you can do your cooking:
Give the ladies some respect -
But there's still no harm in looking!

My love, what am I like?
You should be all I need
I'm yours until I die
I'm in love with you, indeed

We don't see eye to eye
Not every day is sunny
(In fact I'm sure when you hear this
You'll think it's pretty funny)

So, to ask a stupid question:
Could I love you more? Not much
And even though I'm looking
I swear I could never touch

My heart and hands are yours
Just let me keep my eyes
And I'll rip them out myself
Should infidelity arise!