Nocturnal Thoughts

[Produced by: Phillip Mweemba]

(Verse 1: Phillip Mweemba)
Honestly it’s pretty clear Phillip's been through a lot in the past year
And quite frankly he’s drained he’s shed his last tear
It’s like he waits for the day he decays hoping that that’s near
His confidence is cracked it’s all out of whack he’s trapped here
In his own head with memory stuck in an endless loop
His energy is gone dawg his sense of purpose too
At the crack of dusk his levels of anxiety raises
His heart races he brain's convinced itself he’s in danger
But in real reality I hope seems to be lost for the rap nerd
It’s all dark looking for that spark that at age 9 he captured
When he discovered an art that he eventually mastered
He managed to excel despite at the doubt and the laughter
It’s ironic when he was trying to heal/heel eventually became one
He morphed into a villain filed by his anger
He embraced it, give up when he’s cries for help went unanswered
To him things like fear and failure to him, he was no stranger hah

(Hook: Phillip Mweemba)
I’m just trying to heal but I don’t think I can
All these nocturnal thoughts that are stuck in my head
I don’t know how to feel, I’m surprised that I can
All these nocturnal thoughts, these nocturnal thoughts
I’m not okay, but at least I’m trying to be
Something inside of me is starting to change
With these nocturnal thoughts, these nocturnal thoughts

(Verse 2: Phillip Mweemba)
And finding another half seems like an impossible task
Just pining for affection from every girl that he asked
And when he finally did he thought it would last
It was foolish how He began to think that she was all that he had became awfully sad
Then got progressively worse
Man that shit definitely hurts
Praying to a Divine force to put end to this curse
And maybe things will revert
And when he finally find a genuine girl well that’ll be a first
Somehow subconsciously he’s convinced himself he’s not worthy of any love
And probably the reason why he lashes out at anyone
Emotional support is something he’s never had plenty of
He’s twenty one he had a big heart and now it’s just an empty one
But truly he just wants a girl he can share his soul with and grow with and be there whenever he is at his lowest
And that sounds corny huh he would openly admit it
The first thing on his wish-list with hopes that he gets it hah

(Hook: Phillip Mweemba)
I’m just trying to heal but I don’t think I can
All these nocturnal thoughts that are stuck in my head
I don’t know how to feel, I’m surprised that I can
All these nocturnal thoughts, these nocturnal thoughts
I’m not okay, but at least I’m trying to be
Something inside of me is starting to change
With these nocturnal thoughts, these nocturnal thoughts

(Outro Hook: Phillip Mweemba)
I’m just trying to heal (I’m just trying to heal)
But I don’t think I can (but I don’t think I can)
I don’t know how to feel (I don’t know to feel, I don’t know how to feel)
I’m not okay, but at least I’m trying to be
Something inside of me is starting to change
With these nocturnal thoughts, these nocturnal thoughts