Nobody’s Asian in the Movies

[MAURISSA]
I wrote all Penny's lines and her song, you know
I even sang her part up on the demo
But when it's time to cast the show
Did they want somebody yellow? – hell no

Nobody's Asian in the movies
Nobody's Asian on TV
If there is a part there for us
It's the groupie in the chorus
That's me

I begged and I pleaded, "Please don't pass me by,"
They say, "Hey, give us a hand --
Go stand in the back with that fat guy."
My role, albeit brief, at least
It isn't Viet Cong, it's comic relief

Nobody's Asian in the movies
Nobody's Asian on TV
If there is a part there for us
It's a ninja, a physician
Or goofy mathematician
Or groupie in the chorus
That's me

Who do they want before they want an Asian?
A Mexican
Who do they want before they want an Asian?
A Black
Who do they want before they want an Asian?
A Persian, or a Cajun, or an Indian
Or an American-Indian played by a Mexican
Or if you're lucky someone Asian
Like me

[JED]
But Maurissa, movies couldn't even be made without Asians
We need them to play the parts we're not willing to

[MAURISSA]
You're right, Jed!

Without the Asians in the movies
Without Asians on TV
Who'd play the goofy mathematician
The computer technician
A wise old healer from Japan
A short but wealthy businessman
Sell Korean groceries
Do your laundry, thank you, prrease
We're the victims of a crime
We'll be loving you long time
If your movie is a bore just
Watch the groupie in the chorus
That's me

[MAURISSA]
I guess my parents will be proud of me after all

[JED]
What does your dad do again?

[MAURISSA]
Oh! He's a nerdy, funny scientist