Nineteen99

[Intro]
Year of our lord, 1999
Year of his foe, 6661

[Verse 1]
Worth of my birth is less than a candy purchase
Dearth of the mirth, joys been absent since a person
When I was delivered, I was crying and shivering
Doctors severed that cord then I started my villainy
My sibling never made it, they were sent to River Styx
Or some other place of pain made by sermon-givers tricks
I know that Ill be burning when my shell of meat's in casket
Why not light myself right now to prep for hellish heat and maggots
Just need a lighter and some gas, worst case I'll use absinthe
Take a bath in it, and if the BIC dies, turn to matches
Boxing matches between voxes clashing hard inside my nous
Telling me to get my neck caressed so gently by a noose
I'm doing some dumb shit to forget my issues
Wish that you could understand all that I've been through
When Lucifer needs food and puts you on his menu
Hope it brings light to my life when it fucking hits you

[Hook]
Everybody's telling me "happy birthday!"
I don't understand, what is there to celebrate?
Nineteen years full of misery and pain
Got cold veins, so I'm fine dying in vain
Everybody's telling me "happy birthday!"
I don't understand, what is there to celebrate?
Nineteen years full of misery and pain
Got cold veins, so I'm fine dying in vain

[Verse 2]
I'm a portrait of George Orwell made by Henri Edmond Cross
Dotty kamikaze tryna fight against big brother boss
I'm forming a farm of controversial concepts
I'll go dormant eternal by murderous princeps
Shatter my grey matter, splatter like a Jackson Pollock
My molecules live off of platters made for alcoholics
Kabbalah thoughts have hid within me since I first bit challah
But I get no signals when I'm calling out to Allah
I'll hit 21 to drink myself to death lawfully
And smoke some cigarettes to make myself cough awfully
End up in a coffin carried by the pallbearers
The men in my lineage who never appalled or scared parents
Didn't pound on walls or wanna throw fists at all mirrors
Didn't lose sleep every night because dreams displayed fears
Not quite nightmares just regrets and inescapable mistakes
Slept 4 hours max a night, how much more of this can i take?

[Hook]
Everybody's telling me "happy birthday!"
I don't understand, what is there to celebrate?
Nineteen years full of misery and pain
Got cold veins, so I'm fine dying in vain
Everybody's telling me "happy birthday!"
I don't understand, what is there to celebrate?
Nineteen years full of misery and pain
Got cold veins, so I'm fine dying in vain

[Verse 3]
So i take some ambiens to hide from being a cambion
My rampant panicked thoughts won't stop, the pains becoming ambient
So I take a whole pill bottle, hoping things will end
And send myself to death full throttle, nearly finding zen
When I wake up in the hospital, my stomach freshly pumped
Check my texts, respond like nothings wrong, whole time i was just slumped
Ride the cop car to a mental hospital, get my shit taken
Then for 3 days minimum, gotta be evaluated
So I'm patiently waiting, living as a mental patient
Can't use pencils, so use crayons to write shit in isolation
Scheduled meals, small TV, one pop radio station
Every hour feels like a year but there's no escapin'
Family visits, they're surprised, I don't see why
I've dropped a lot of signs that i thought of suicide
When I finally get out, only 3 friends who were worried
To this day I still wish that i would've just been buried

[Hook]
Everybody's telling me "happy birthday!"
I don't understand, what is there to celebrate?
Nineteen years full of misery and pain
Got cold veins, so I'm fine dying in vain
Everybody's telling me "happy birthday!"
I don't understand, what is there to celebrate?
Nineteen years full of misery and pain
Got cold veins, so I'm fine dying in vain

[Outro 1]
This is dedicated to my grandma, Lupe Lopez
Rest in peace 1927-2018
Rest in peace to my dog Barkley, he died last April
The greatest pretty old canine that I've ever seen
Dedicated to my grandpa Henry Vera Lopez
You're missed Enrique
Dedicated to Sandra Bernards. I hope you're soul's well
I hope you're all watching over me

[Outro 2]
Go,go,go,go
Go mantis, it's your birthday
You should pop a xanax 'cause it's your birthday
Don't look quite as bland, because it's your birthday
But no one really gives a fuck that today's your birthday

[Outro 3]
Oh three one four
One nine nine nine
To twenty seventeen
Nineteen long years
Came out of the womb
Worth of my birth
Soon to reach the tomb
Worth of my birth