Never Have I Ever

It's never just taking a train
There are so many feelings coming with me
It's never just taking a train

One of us is lying
Or maybe it's both
Ineptly, I'm trying
Trying to prevent you from unravelling the truth

I know that it's coming
Just please not today
But no one's denying
That I hold on a little tighter each time that I stay

Never have I ever let it go this far
You're pulling out the very wildest card in my repertoire
A sucker for self-sabotage
Never have I еver gone this far

I'm letting you push mе
But where does it end?
The yielding comes easy
Now this wild behaviour is scaring my friends
I paint on a brave face
To enter the fray
And yeah, I'm a strong-minded woman
Destroying myself just to be loved, just to be loved
So my therapist says

Never did I not expect to end up here
We better let our vile desires unwind
One last final time
Come clean and then just disappear
Trying to stray, but I want nobody else
While I'm tied up on
A ride through hell on your carousel
I'll never be loving myself
Never have I ever gone this far