My Own Eyes

[Intro]
I saw a baby drive a truck
I saw a junkie eat a tuba
I saw a stripper kiss a duck
Behind a dumpster in Aruba

[Verse 1]
I saw this fat, psychotic guy
His underwear was made of crickets
He pawned a skeleton to buy
Some old expired lotto tickets

[Pre-Chorus 1]
I saw a naked vagrant
Giving mouth-to-mouth resuscitation to his cat
I probably could have gone my whole life
Without seeing that

[Chorus]
With my own eyes
I see things that'd drive a normal man insane
Wish I could disconnect my brain
From my own eyes

[Verse 2]
I saw a mime get hacked to death
With an imaginary cleaver
I saw an old man's final breath
I watched him die from Bieber Fever
I saw these diabetic chicks
In an abandoned 7-Eleven
I watched them snorting Pixy Stix
While they were belching "Stairway To Heaven"

[Pre-Chorus 2]
I saw two drag queens trying to see how many crackers
They could shove up each other's nose
I'd like to erase my mind completely but I suppose
That's just the way it goes

[Chorus 2]
With my own eyes
I see things that'd drive a normal man insane
Wish I could disconnect my brain
From my own eyes (my own eyes)
Those visions haunt my memory
Oh, there's so much I wish I could unsee
With my own eyes

[Verse 3]
Some priest got drunk and stole a circus zebra
And he trained it to massage his back
My guinea pig committed harakiri
So we used him to play hacky-sack
My neighbor's kids sold weapons-grade plutonium
And frosty ice-cold lemonade
They took MasterCard and sometimes human organs in trade That's how we paid
I have to say that it was really darn good lemonade

[Chorus 2]
With my own eyes
I've seen things that'd drive a normal man insane
Wish I could disconnect my brain
From my own eyes (my own eyes)
Those visions haunt my memory
Oh, there's so much I wish I could unsee

[Outro]
With my own eyes
With my own eyes
With my own eyes
With my own eyes