Lame Claim to Fame

[Verse 1]
One time I was in the checkout line
Behind Steven Seagal
Once I'm pretty sure Mr. Jonah Hill
Was in the very next bathroom stall
My best friend's brother
Well, he was an extra in Wayne's World 2
My neighbor's babysitter
Dated three of the guys in Mötley Crüe
I swear Jack Nicholson
Looked right at me at a Lakers game

[Chorus]
I got a lame
Lame claim to fame
Ooh wee!

[Verse 2]
Check it out
I bought a secondhand toaster
From a guy who says he knows Brad Pitt
I got me an e-mail from the prince of Nigeria
Well, he sure sounded legit
My sister used to take piano lessons
From the second cousin of Ralph Nader
Last year I threw up in an elevator
Next to Christian Slater
Well, guess what? My birthday and Kim Kardashian's
Are exactly the same

[Chorus]
I got a lame
Lame claim to fame
A really lame
Lame claim to fame

[Bridge]
Once at a party, my dentist accidentally sneezed on Russell Crowe
I posted "First!" in the comments on a YouTube video
I tried to sit by Steve Buscemi, but he told me "This seat's taken"
I know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy
Who knows a guy who knows Kevin Bacon
Ooh wee!

[Verse 3]
I had a car that used to belong
To Cuba Gooding Jr.'s uncle
A friend of mine in high school
Had jury duty with Art Garfunkel
One time I was staying in the same hotel
As Zooey Deschanel
I used the same napkin dispenser as Steve Carell
At a Taco Bell
Well, I don't mean to brag but Paul Giamatti's plumber knows me by name

[Chorus]
I got a lame
Lame claim to fame
A really lame
Lame claim to fame
That's right, I'm talkin' lame
Lame claim to fame
A really, really, really lame
Lame claim to fame
Ow, let's get lame, boys!