My Best Friend

[Intro 1: Champ Kind (David Koechner)]
I miss you so damn much. I miss being with you. I miss being near you. I miss your laugh. I miss-I miss your scent. I miss your musk

[Verse 1: Whipstick]
Legz man, it ain't a friendship, it's a battleship
Five years deep and keeping track upon an abacus
A glutton of punishment, pessimist, and a masochist
Super Famous Fun Time only works because you half of it (Faggot)
I'll fucking smack a bitch and smash a faggot with
Blunt force trauma bro, just wind me up, I'll handle it
Fists is so explosive and corrosive when the shrapnel hits
The odds are in our favor, fuck the haters, never stacked against us (Haha)
But at this point you're simply stuck with me guy
We rock that 2K infinity 'til at least one of us die
Then again I'll probably bug you in the aftermost life
I appreciate you Legz cuz life is passing me by, hey
All that fighting shit, that stupid shit that brothers do
Will only make us stronger to go farther than a vision do
My coffin on, my number two
A solid prick, I love you dude
Who wanna take a moment to acknowledge and appreciate you

[Chorus: Whipstick]
Have you seen a better person? That's my best friend
How you even talking shit on him? That's my best friend
I guess we're stuck together 'til the end, that's my best friend
We're never separated again, that's my best friend
Have you seen a better person? That's my best friend
How you even talking shit on him? That's my best friend
I guess we're stuck together 'til the end, that's my best friend
We're never separated again, that's my best friend

[Verse 2: Mr 8 Legz]
So now you're tied up and locked down in my basement
That's got the greatest wallpaper, floral arrangements
I even left a disconnected Xbox to play with
And every Disney movie ever, cuz they're the greatest
Back to basic, yeah we both live in misery
You're James Gunn, I'm Kathy Bates, snap your legs with symmetry
Widest smile on my face, attacking so maliciously
My proudest moment yet to date and look at us, we're giggling
You can't go home, why would you wanna leave? (Huh)
I cracked your phone and tossed away the keys (Yeah)
It's not supposed to be like this, I mean (What?)
We're both best friends like macaroni cheese (Right?)
I've got my eyes on you, watch it on camera (Yeah)
I've seen you hide and appeal to your stamina (Don't do that)
I'm kinda violent and manically damage ya
As I light your ass on fire, toss you over the banister

[Chorus: Whipstick]
Have you seen a better person? That's my best friend
How you even talking shit on him? That's my best friend
I guess we're stuck together 'til the end, that's my best friend
We're never separated again, that's my best friend
Have you seen a better person? That's my best friend
How you even talking shit on him? That's my best friend
I guess we're stuck together 'til the end, that's my best friend
We're never separated again, that's my best friend

[Interlude: Champ Kind (David Koechner) & Brian Fantana (Paul Rudd)]
When this all gets sorted out, I think you and me should get an apartment together!
Take it easy, Champ. Why don't you stop talking for a while? Maybe sit the next couple plays out. You know what I mean?
Yeah, I'm gonna quit saying things when they crop up there in the old skull, huh...

[Skit: Whipstick & DurtE]
The fuck? "Are you coming over?" Ha, bring Land Shark faggot. Yo, alright, so look here DurtE. Yes, I'm on my way over, I'm walking to your house right now. I popped a tire and I'm like three quarters of a mile down the road. If you could just give me one second to fucking reply and quit blowing me up with all these messages about how you can't wait until I get here and you just want me to let my fingers frolic through your neckbeard and I'm just like "come on man, like, yes, I'm on my way." Oh my god, more messages. Hey, at least I replied once. All I said was "yes, I'm coming"....
Hello
Just a minute
Hello
Hold the fuck on!
There, is anybody home?
Jesus Christ man, what are you pounding on the fucking door like the cops for? Fuck
Bro, why does your door open so slow? It's not even that heavy
Well, you can't be too fucking careful when asshole's pounding on the fucking door
Well, yeah, I am wondering why you called me here. I mean, you put great emphasis on this one. You never call me over
Well, I ain't seen you in a while
Except like once in a while. You don't even expect me to come even when I do
Well you, you never hit me up. Shut that fucking song off
Yo, how-how-how did you do that? I've been trying to figure out how to get that shit to shut off for months
Man, fuck that song. Hold up, let DJ Durt set the mood. There we go
Naw dude, I mean, you got me beat. I don't know why you have me here
Anyways, I think we both know why you're here...
Ugh, Tim Cappello, yeah. Okay, cool
The Lost Boys you say? Alright
I mean, that's pretty cool you got it on vinyl and shit
Time for a little bit of the bubbly
Why are you pouring up wine?
We're fucking celebrating bro
No, but why did you bring me here?
Well, I didn't fucking bring you here. You walked the fuck here to see me which isn't a surprise, cuz I think we know what's going on
Is it because, you know, that new AEW's about to start on the fourth?
Dynamite
TNT Wednesday night Dynamite?
Ye, naw, close, but that's not it
It's cuz it's spooky season isn't it? You wanted that, you know, audible feel. Ugg boots, pumpkin spice lattes
Yeah, when I think pumpkin spice latte's I think Whipstick. Naw man
I don't know dude. Is it cuz I accidentally sent you that dick pic?
Accidentally!? Get the fuck out of my house!
What?
Get the fuck out!
So you're kicking me out
Fuck you! Get the fuck out of my house!
I just walked what would be a six hour drive
This is fucking bullshit. Listen motherfucker. You're gonna eat that ticket!
Oh, okay
Get the fuck out!
Cool dude
Fuck you! Lose the number!
Okay, well, I'm-I'm-I'm going, I'm going
You fucking douchebag
Have fun P90X-ing by yourself
Faggot

[Intro 2: Whipstick]
Hahahahahahahaha, yo, fuck that guy
Yo, seriously? Hold up
So you're gonna send this dude a dick pic, get him all excited for nothing and suddenly he's an asshole? I don't know man, I don't get it
He can get this work. Aye yo? Where's Legz at? I can't wait for him to get online again and tell us we all suck and that he's too good to work with us

[Chorus: Whipstick & Nappy Roots]
We're gonna have a good day
And all my homies gonna ride today
And all these mommies look fly today
And all we wanna do is get by today
Heyyy
We're gonna have a good day
And ain't nobody gotta cry today
'Cause ain't nobody gonna die today
You can save that drama for another day
Heyyy
We're gonna have a good day

[Verse 1: Mr 8 Legz]
A great day for Super Famous (Yeah)
We got our faces on the cover, front pages
Barking on these stages, cities stalking all these places
Stalking, packing molotov's so when it pops up I'll be waiting
Pew pew, without you 8 Legz?
Yeah, what a coincidence
Watching all these fun times with the best of the Syndicate
McNastee and Madd Maxxx, plus the health of the benefits
Broken innocence, murder, death, destruction, and pestilence
We're still super naive and pack a fucking cape
Uppercut your fucking face, drunk, pissing on your cake
On your birthday, in the worst way you're fucking gay
God, I hate to love you
Fuck you faggot, fuck your cake

[Chorus: Whipstick & Nappy Roots]
We're gonna have a good day
And all my homies gonna ride today
And all these mommies look fly today
And all we wanna do is get by today
Heyyy
We're gonna have a good day
And ain't nobody gotta cry today
'Cause ain't nobody gonna die today
You can save that drama for another day
Heyyy
We're gonna have a good day

[Vere 2: DurtE]
Yeah, today's a good day to tell a motherfucker that he sucks but in a good way
Look, hey, I ain't even saying that I don't fucking get it
But I certainly hope you didn't think I'd ever forget it
I tried to dead it in my mental but I just couldn't
And now I'm talking 'bout it out loud even though I know I shouldn't
What? I wasn't good enough for you?
Legz asked me to do a song fucking years ago, so what do I do?
Lace a track up with the quickness, sent it over to him
Like "dig this, this shit is dope, can I get a witness?"
He said that it was ill shit, never puts a song out
And then he makes a fucking group with Whipstick
What the fuck is this shit!?

[Chorus: Whipstick & Nappy Roots]
We're gonna have a good day
And all my homies gonna ride today
And all these mommies look fly today
And all we wanna do is get by today
Heyyy
We're gonna have a good day
And ain't nobody gotta cry today
'Cause ain't nobody gonna die today
You can save that drama for another day
Heyyy
We're gonna have a good day

[Verse 3: McNastee]
His balls are sweaty, knees creak, bald and heavy
Dubbs is one part Joker, two parts Masetti
Soccer mom in the mini-van, park the Chevy
Dropped a perfect verse but perfect's still not ready (Where it at?)
I called 8 Legz to tell him he trash but his phone been cut off for a month and a half
I had referrals that were probably worth a couple of grand
But he'd rather work for peeps who don't pay in advance
Yo, why he in the group?
Hear me out for a sec, I ain't had a fun time since the day that we met
Nothing super about the dude who think he famous and yet
He don't even get recognized by family and friends
Yo, have a good day

[Chorus: Whipstick & Nappy Roots]
We're gonna have a good day
And all my homies gonna ride today
And all these mommies look fly today
And all we wanna do is get by today
Heyyy
We're gonna have a good day
And ain't nobody gotta cry today
'Cause ain't nobody gonna die today
You can save that drama for another day
Heyyy
We're gonna have a good day

[Outro: Whipstick]
Just kidding 8 Legz, you know we love you (We love you)
So, I had to sing an outro like Dubbs do (Like Dubbs do)