My Best Friend

B:Hello, what you doing here, who are you?
The Flying Dutchman: Het jy my tv ??
B: My codename is Mikhail Breznikov, but you can call me Bongi
The Flying Dutchman: *snort* nice name, where'd you get it? the Waterfront?
B: Don't you think I've been mocked enough, because my father, Sipho, did not put a click in my name?
The Flying Dutchman: Versin!
B: I was taken by the Russians as a slave, but I maintain my Sowetan heritage with this afro
The Flying Dutchman: Verstaan jy Afrikaans?
B: stop! English only - I do not understand your language
The Flying Dutchman: mm? why am I here?
The Flying Dutchman: Ja waars ons kinders?
B: I said English. Can you handle it?
The Flying Dutchman: Hmm?
B: Because you are cute and i like to lick the chocolate starfish
If you are wondering why my voice is not in sync with my lips
It is because when I was a little boy my best friend Jacob Zuma taught me how to talk shit
And just like him I have mastered it, and I now talk through my ass as well