My Baby’s in Love with Jon Bermuda

Oh my baby, my baby, she don't want me no more
Ever since she heard "Eat It" back in '84
She says the domain Weird Al dot com is quite amazing
And the way he handles his sticks really gets her heart a-racing
She likes his deep brown eyes, and his dark brown hair
Yeah, he's her favorite drummer / webmaster extraordinaire

Well, my baby's in love with Jon "Bermuda"
She's all crazy 'bout that Jon "Bermuda"
I asked why, she said "'Cause he's a righteous dude, duh!"
'Cause my baby's in love with Jon "Bermuda"

Now every time I see him he's out shakin' hands
With a smile and a smirk, he's meet-and-greetin' the fans
What a pain in the butt to take on dual roles
Watch him keeping the tempo, and destroying the trolls
But my girl can't get enough, and it hurts my pride
'Cause now the symbols of her love have "Zildjan" written on the side

Well, my baby's in love with Jon "Bermuda"
She's got a thing for that Jon "Bermuda"
I might as well pack up and hop a plane to Judah
Now my baby's in love with a-
-I said, I said, I said
My baby's in love with Jon "Bermuda"
Head over heels for that Jon "Bermuda"
I'm a small cheese curd, and he's a hunk of Gouda
'Cause my baby's in love with Jon "Bermuda"

I knew we were headed for disaster
When she played that Woodsy Owl song over her shoutcaster
Her infatuation really ain't a mystery
For the web-spacing, solo-playing, fan-waving, syncopating
Drummer for the single greatest cover band in history!

Well I don't know how to make a tambourine jangle
And I'm not tattooed on David Rossi's ankle
And I know she thinks compared to him, I'm so lame
But I know two can play at this kind of game
Yeah, well, let's just see how jealous she'll get when…
…I said, when I start stalking the keyboardist Ruben!

Well, my baby's in love with Jon "Bermuda"
She's all crazy 'bout that Jon "Bermuda"
If I was Jar Jar Binks, I'd say "Howsa rude-a!"
'Cause my baby's in love with a-
-I said, I said, I said
My baby's in love with Jon "Bermuda"
Why'd she have to fall for that Jon "Bermuda"
When it comes to the drums, he's the master golden Buddah
'Cause my baby's in love with Jon "Bermuda"!

May the Schwartz be with you!