My Atari

My Atari, turn off all the lights
And bask in the glory of a two-bit sprite
I stood in line, when I was nine
Bought Burgertime and left the world behind
And out my speakers Q-Bert speaks
Won't offend my peepers 'cause his words are bleeped
My Atari's on a stand with an uneven height
So I use my X-Box just to prop it up right
My Atari still works after all these years
From when it first appeared on sale at Sears
We'll be together forever, I named it Heather
And I'll never get sick of pushing the reset lever
My Atari! My Atari!

Yo, whassup?
My Atari, driving down a street at night
Now I'm bumpin' and jumpin' to a staggering height
It always brightens up my day, and just last Friday
I found myself trying to kill a frog on the highway
You can't go wrong, with games like Pong
But on Pitfall the snake bit me in the schlong
And I slide left and right, I'm puttin' up a fight
With shields dwindling and Space Invaders in my sight
And so now I'm just sittin' here catchin' some bombs
I can play while on the toilet 'cause my phone has the ROMs
My Atari! My Atari!

Now, me and my Atari play the illest games
I like to duck and jump over dragon flames
We slay all dragons, red, yellow, and green
And the bat carries corpses from screen to screen
Outer space and under ground when I play my game
I shoot everything, it all looks the same
I'm set on expert every game I play
Even Strawberry Shortcake has me playin' all day
My Atari! My Atari!

Now the games that I possess have quite a range
Myself I've got four-hundred games
I play Taz a lot, till he eats his fill
And then Kool Aid Man when it's time to get ill
Played Donkey Kong and I got the high score
Before Mario dumped Pauline for that whore

My Atari, didn't always bring good games
Pac-Man was lame, Custer's Revenge was insane
And I hope the Reeses cause an allergy for E.T
'Cause that's the game that brought down a whole industry
At a party that I threw for all the boys
We played Asteroids till we got hemorrhoids
My Atari lets me play with a stick in my lap
With a couple teeth marks 'cause I needed a snack
Whether in a space battle, or rustlin' cattle
You won't see me without my joy stick or paddle
My Atari!