mother and father

[Intro]
I have often contemplated suicide
But I'm a coward

[Verse 1]
No matter how many times I try and try
To end this sorry excuse of a human life I always end back here
It won't let me leave
Can't wait for the day that these chains are freed
Of humanity, such impurity
I want to shed that part of me
I'm letting myself rot from the inside out
Because I don't have the guts
Have the guts to pull the trigger
When the gun's inside my mouth
My life's a mistake
Born to be given away
Don't know my mother's name
I don't know my mother's name
Nine months of bonding to you
Nine months of forming in you
Those nine months are all that I know
You did not want to watch me grow
Every day, every day, I wish that you killed me
When I was in that womb
That I once called a home

[Verse 2]
How can you want nothing to do with your only son?
Either one
Born of lust
Existence is fucked
I am you, you
Why do you not want me?
I don't and will never understand (I won't)
No matter how much I say I am
My consciousness is nothing but a plague (Take it away from me)
You wasted seventeen years praying that I will get better
Because I will never leave my human remains
Until I can finally escape
No matter how hard I try, it never fucking works
I'd love to be in the earth
I long for something more
I long to be adored
And don't I understand why my soul chose this path
Been a burden to take
I just want your embrace
As mother and father to me