[Opening]
I'm importing and sorting
All of your foreign babies then aborting
And deporting the cavorting
Assortment of quarreling kids
[Verse 1]
Is it
Time to flip the script
And pull a Josiah Gibbs
On all of the other physicists
And thermodynamics?
Nah, fuck it I’m just a lyricist
Not a pacifist
I broke my fist
On bullet-resistant glass
I'm an ass
God dammit grab
A hammock
Get manic and slam it into a kid
And wrap it
Around her hips
Squeeze her tits while she licks your dick
And play with her clit until she wraps her pussy lips around your prick and sits on it
Such is
The life of a pre-pubescent pimp
[Verse 2]
I think it's time for a nap
This rap is bad
Because I’m a dad
And a girl's one thing I never had
Instead, I just eat a bunch of crap and get fat
But, I'm not okay with that
So I'll get off my ass, stop listening to these traps
Walk down the street while guzzling gas
And go to the gym, find some twins and a bunch of
Cheap sluts
Rent a U-Haul truck
And charge $50,000 up
On my credit, yup
Then self-destruct while giving them each a good fuck
I'll obstruct their cunts with my eight inch plug
Then shrug, only to cut them up and hide them in the brush while quietly eating a Dick's Deluxe
Mid-lane Lux, gives zero fucks about Puck because she's busy sucking my left nut
[Verse 3]
I'm gunna post the receipt on Reddit, kill myself and claim that someone else did it
Wait a minute, that makes too much sense. It’s dense. You can’t pick a side while straddling the fence
This rhyme is recompense for my misdeeds
Repentance the cost of my needs
A resemblance of a greed
Two-quarters you, three-quarters me
1/16th part seed, 1/17th tree
I'm a paradox, I’m the Fox, popping out of the box
Finding himself in the Seeker's Bluff
Overstuffed with the fluff and sawdust
Recovered from the dead lush
Hamster locked in his foodstuff, a former gangster
With no surplus of dandruff in his hairbrush
A prankster I dropped in a dumpster, yes sir
I cut him up sure, because he held no answers
[Verse 4]
And you?
You're losing your mind, just like me
And Porky?
Well, no one could de-buff the buff of his shine
That heavenly swine is divine, but his story belongs in another line
In another rhyme
In another time
So let's hit rewind and find ourselves back at the start
I can’t get enough of this art, uh, what it's called?
How I Found Love in the Padded Room?
I'm appalled
I'm enthralled walking down the hall
With the volume on default
I'm splattered like an ink blot
I'm not
Insane, but rather sane
I'm on my medi-sane
So my brain is ordered
Grab a sword, or
Hors d'oeuvres or a bucket of turds
Er
Shit
I'm loving this
I'm back in chaos
I'm brainloss
I mean brainless
My brain's lost
Someone reign this
Thing in
It's my fucked up twin
And I think he's come to win
[Verse 5]
I digress
I'm distressed, depressed and compressed
Because I've been undressed and pressed into a locker in Bucharest
Being force fed like a Vietnam vet
I'm stretching and I'm retching
As sweat drips from my brow
I'm trying to get out now
So I pound and pound
While giving a heavenly shout
I'm endowed, but still disallowed
From discovering how
I became a cow
[Close]
Moo
Moo was written by Aaron Kyle Andresen.