Mistah Eliot – He Wanker

[Verse 1]
Well, T. S. Eliot tuned the radio, couldn't get rid of the static
Serves him right for being so enigmatic
T. S. Eliot crashed his motor car, snapped a clutch cable
I bet you my youngest daughter could drink him under the table

[Chorus]
T. S. Eliot
T. S. Eliot
T. S. Eliot
T. S. Eliot
Oh, Thomas

[Verse 2]
Well, T. S. Eliot lost his wallet when he went into town
Serves him right for hanging out with the likes of Ezra Pound
T. S. Eliot thinks he's famous because he's a genius
But don't you know I'm ambivalent about the modernist achievement?

[Chorus]
T. S. Eliot
T. S. Eliot
T. S. Eliot
T. S. Eliot
T. S. Eliot
(Hey girls, there ain't no maybe)
T. S. Eliot
(Well I'm your favourite teacher, baby)
T. S. Eliot
(He's only a poet)
T. S. Eliot
(Well, I'm your man and don't you know it, baby, yeah)

[Bridge]
We've come to tell you a something tonight, Mr Eliot
We've come to tell you something
Do anything you like, Mr Eliot
Say all the loves, all the lights in Juliet's tomb
Or you can roll the universe into a ball
Good night, ladies, good night
Do anything you like, Mr Eliot
Become the greatest Anglo-American poet since the war, Mr Eliot
You can be quoted in Heart of Darkness, Mr Eliot
But there is one thing I warn you
There's one thing you should never do
Don't you ever step on my blue suede shoes