Millipede

(Yeah, some real shit
Just tryin to like, get some shit off my mind like...)

Could've left the Druff but I was busy rollin weed and smokin crack 'fore I could drive
I'm grindin so my kids won't ever know that kind of life
Won't go the place I go, stuck at home alone
My homies out there livin, I'm smokin and growin old
In entropy, stepped on a millipede by accident tonight
Another careless decision causin pain like I've done my whole life
In conflict, hesitate to let these feelings leave my lips
Fake like they relatin, but when they act I can see the switch
Quick to judge, if you can't handle the facts then why you askin?
My years ain't been no badge of honor, wasted half em slackin
Why get up and text her? Ain't gon' act like I got shit to offer
Rottin in my recliner, playin Fallout in my boxers
While they bombin shit outside my window, some say I'm low class
But I ain't quite recovered from them Ziplocs of Prozac
I used to sneak to school when I'd feel like they wasn't workin
S'posed to fix it, yet they only exacerbated and worsened what was hurtin
Now I can barely keep my thoughts straight
And I contradict every sentence, infinite sippin like I'm Tremblay
So it's never empty, swallow my pain and get to work
Ain't got no time to shit in pity, Des just said he need a verse
So I ain't wastin opportunities, can't finish til they see me
Tryin to make a noise they can't ignore and force my way to TV (unh)
Don't know which second's the last, so I been stayin high
We sick, hollow inners, end up bitter so we hatin life
And that's a recipe for somethin real deadly
But you gotta pay bills, fightin to keep a meal in your real belly
Got plenty skeletons, I'm just prone to display em
Lay em on the beat shameless, put my government name on em
Show you where to trace em, only human we all fuck up
Feelin born with disproportionate stats, gotta level luck up 'fore my sand is gone
I can see it slippin through my fingertips
And that's the fear that's fuelin the venom that come between my lips
Don't get it twisted off some pictures with my parents
Act like cause I had that bed to sleep in, posin like I'm Clarence
They don't see me starin dead at the wall with the hours passin
See the shrinks face, scared at all the thoughts that I been havin
Said "goddammit don't you bring him here, don't feel okay alone with him
He say he don't control himself, The Devil's got a hold of him
Can't trust that he won't pin me to my desk and have his way with me."
Every time I'm honest it just makes em all afraid of me (yeah)