Marc Hates This B-Side (Fanboy)

I appreciate you listening, more than you'll ever know
And thank you for taking the time to come out to the shows
But I've got things to do like any 33 year old
And I can't always be at your beckon call when I'm at home

No, fanboy, you can't have my number
No offense, but that's a little creepy
No, fangirl, you can't have my screenname
IMs just make me cranky

"Hey, Marc, how old's your daughter now?"
"Who were you thinking of when you wrote Nerdy Girls?"
"Is there gonna be a Hey Rape Girl part 2?"
"Is your name an Empire Records reference?"
"Hey there Marc with a C, my name's Stacy with an X
And I bet you've never heard that before; can we be friends?"

Well, no, fanboy, you can't have my number
No offense, but that's a little creepy
No, fangirl, you can't have my screenname
IMs just make me cranky
No, fanboy, you can't have my T-shirt
No offense, I need this towel
No, fangirl, I can't sign your
Underwire bra
Not only big rich rock stars and weird obsessive fans
Now most of you are very nice, but some of you just freak me the fuck out

You carved a pumpkin from [?] featuring my sillhouette
In the middle of the night, you came to my house and left it in my yard
You memorized my B-sides, like the girl in She Loves The B-Sides
While I appreciate that reference, I don't really have any B-sides

Well, no, fanboy, you can't have my B-sides
No offense, I don't really have any B-sides
No, fangirl, if I did have some B-sides
You could have them for free!
But no, fanboy, you can't have my number
No offense, but that's a little creepy
No, fangirl, you can't have my screenname
IMs just make me cranky
No, fanboy, you can't have my T-shirt
No offense, I'm wearing this tie!
No, fangirl, I can't sign your
Underwire bra

But I'm just kidding, I really like you
It's all in fun, I couldn't do this without you
I'm just kidding, sometimes some of you kind of freak me out