Mama, If You Only Knew

[Verse 1]
Another day, another problem, ain't it how it feel
Tryna make it out the bottom, how you wound up here
Wake, clock in, walking zombie when you bottle tears
Wasting time and find you waiting till the hour near
Tired of all the drama of a sour year
I feel so fucking lonely that I'm out of here
I ain't got no motherfucking power here
So I hit the bottle till I throttle out of somber gear
Drinking every night, I might be crazy
Whiskey in the right, it got me hazy
Blacking out at parties feel amazing
I ain't chasing liquor but it chase me
Can you tell me where my brain be?
It escaped and setting fires, finna flame trees
Tell me, can you really blame me?
When every day you waking up in a deranged dream?

[Chorus]
So now I'm wondering why the hell I'm here for
Why I gotta be a model for the fearful
I'm surrounded by the bottles of the beer, gone
Mama, if you knew how much I drink I'd get a earful
Now I'm wondering why the hell I'm here for
Why I gotta be a model for the tearful
Marijuana, I'm a goner when the beer flow
Mama, if you only knew how much I hate it here though

[Verse 2]
Every day a struggle getting out of bed
When your head a motherfucking powder keg
Looking to the sky, but when I shout and beg
There ain't no reply, no, not a nod of heads
So I'm shouting louder till I'm out of breath
But I'm out of faith and God forgot about his kid
Try to walk the line, I stumble fall again
Walking round bluffing, cup my chips and I put all 'em in
Thank God I'm too scared to try the harder drugs
How many die from Xanny bars and party cups
Life is hard enough and so I'm starting drunk
Pouring up Bacardi one fifty one for larger buzz
Maybe I just need to harden up
Be a bigger man and realize my heart is fucked
I'm so deep, a fucking freak, my heart my is scarred and scuffed
And I'm feeling like that God can't even pardon us

[Chorus]
So now I'm wondering why the hell I'm here for
Why I gotta be a model for the fearful
I'm surrounded by the bottles of the beer, gone
Mama, if you knew how much I drink I'd get a earful
Now I'm wondering why the hell I'm here for
Why I gotta be a model for the tearful
Marijuana, I'm a goner when the beer flow
Mama, if you only knew how much I hate it here though

[Verse 3]
I barely told a soul about how bad I felt
No, I kept it in my skull hoping it'd balance out
Yeah, it got me in the claws with the talons out
Yeah, it got me in the jaws tryna scramble out
So I panic now like what the fuck I'm posed to do?
Because I'm lonely when I'm home alone, ain't close to you
I gotta grow and let my soul explore the ocean blue
But it's already water works and pillows soaking through
So I put everything I had into this rap shit
All the pain, all the love, all the passion
The parade of the drugs and the crashing
Everything I have and everything I'm asking
All the doubts that I had, I surpassed 'em
Went quite wild with Lifestyles and gassed 'em
Throw your claps and your cash in the basket
'Cause now I'm in it till the finish, better strap in

[Chorus]
So now I know why the hell I'm here for
And I'm proud to be a model for the fearful
'Cause we all human and we gotta let the tears flow
I ain't gotta drink it all away, I got a clear soul
Now I know why the hell I'm here for
Mama, I been feeling like my life is finally spiritual
I ain't scared to share it all and let my peers know
Waded through that shit ain't looking back, now that's a miracle