Make believe purgatory

One, two
What is my legacy? It's something I can't control or go get to see
I have been told that I'm humble and modest
But possible outcomes are somehow offending me
And I don't get it, see
Did I go left or did I take the right?
Either way I could end in the same destination
I hate what I'm saying. I miss both my sons and my wife who's a widow now
God, did I leave her to sit there and pray then
Now she's the one dealing with all my business
I was the one who spilt food in the kitchen
But she's been assigned to wash my dirty dishes
I can't really think about this in nice light
I was never really one in the limelight
I understand people say I was kind, right
I fought the right fights, but I had big twists
No matter how I'm remembered: revered or dismembered
There's aspects my wife and my kids missed
They only saw me when I needed AA but
When at her wedding I gave her

I don't think that I was built for this limbo
Never liked Hades, abysses, or symbols
I don't think I could get tested for credence
In anything higher, I never believed it
Or at the least, I really never followed it
All of my friends in Iran liked to swallow it
They always told me to shoot for the promised land