Lose My Mind

Last summer, I was on tour with my abusive ex
He hit me in the face, then he stole my song
That Thanksgiving, instead of eating, he had to call the cops
'Cause the father of my sister's kids is high and threatening us
With guns, guns, guns
Oh, isn't this fun, fun, fun?

Everyone says, "Take a breath
Sometime soon, it has to get better"
I smile and nod my head
But what if this changes me forever?

So what if I lose my mind?
What if I like the way it feels?
When I'm on the other side
Of letting the pain just take the wheel
And I'm sick of hiding that I'm not okay
When I can't even hit the brakes
So what if I lose my mind?
What if I, what if I lose my mind?

New year, fresh start, I cleared my head
Turn around and my brother's dead
Then my aunt, then my uncle
What the heck? We'll throw in two beloved pets
Up next, my first record deal
Called it a saving grace
Turns out, just a slap in the face
Man, I remember that taste

Everyone says, "Take a breath
Sometime soon, it has to get better"
I smile and nod my head
But what if this changes me forever?

So what if I lose my mind? (Fuck it)
What if I like the way it feels?
When I'm on the other side
Of letting the pain just take the wheel
And I'm sick of hiding that I'm not okay
When I can't even hit the brakes
So what if I lose my mind? (Fuck it)
What if I, what if I lose my mind?

What if I, what if I lose my mind?
What if I, what if I lose my mind?

Now my sister's in the hospital again
Broken collarbone, 'nother gun to her head
And my best friend confessed
That he can't put down the bottle, put my brother to rest
And God, I'm only human and I can't fucking cope
And sometimes, I think the only way I'll make it out
Is if I let go

So what if I lose my mind? (Fuck it)
What if I like the way it feels?
When I'm on the other side
Of letting the pain just take the wheel
And I'm sick of hiding that I'm not okay
When I can't even hit the brakes
So what if I lose my mind? (Fuck it)
What if I, what if I lose my mind?

Will you be there if I get real scary?
Will you stick by my side, side?
Hold me in your arms when the dark gets heavy?
Stay up with me all night, night?

Will you be there? Scary, scary
Will you be there? Would you let me know?
Will you be there if I get real scary?
Will you be there? Could you let me know?