Lock Shut

You've come to know, these waters to well
They don't mirror heaven, nor resemble hell
They're ever reaching waters
Of angst and despair
It's not bad to be fair
As it's fear, not love, that conquers all
It's always there when you fall

I am a hypocrite
It’s for survival, a way to feel normal
I have nothing to give
So why aren’t you fucking leaving

Shards of glass on dark, cold, floor
Lush, violent anger, held back no more
Relapse
Repeat
Once more, defeat

Numbing
I've been waiting for this
Spin of insensibility

Shutting down
Then it turns around
A pleasant feeling of loss
A lovely smell of grief
Just take it from me
Nothing ever felt this bleak

You've come to know, these waters to well
They don't mirror heaven, nor resemble hell
They're ever reaching waters
Of angst and despair
As it's fear, not love, that conquers all
It's always there when you fall

I twist the cold hard steel till I hear it click
I pull back hard on the handle to make sure of it
These locked doors deliver the solitude that I'm looking for
To grey matter in civil war, they're safe shores
I know the knocks on the door know that I need them
So I write my thoughts down, to save them
And these words are soliloqies
From minds that are their own damn enemies

I am a hypocrite
It’s for survival, a way to feel normal
I have nothing to give
So why aren’t you fucking leaving

Shards of glass on dark, cold, floor
Lush, violent anger, held back no more
Relapse
Repeat
Once more, defeat