Loathing

It starts all fun
It starts fun and games
Until it goes all wrong
If it's played any other way

And I don't like to depend
On anything
But there's always exceptions

Cuz' there's a loathing
Inside of me
It fills me up
With this jealousy
If I'm no good at anyone else
Can I please be good at myself?

Lips part their eyes on me
I'm wondering what they can see
Night comes I'm losing sleep
My own self doubt is haunting me

Cuz' there's a loathing
Inside of me
It fills me up
With this jealousy
If I'm no good at anyone else
Can I please be good at myself?

I walk a fine line
Between peace of mind and wanting to analyze
My reach my esteem and selfishly
My gaze charming ways for looks and praise
Sometimes I wanna' destroy everything I know
Protect me from a buildup start over and go
Wanna fall so hard have someone care for me
Sick of all this self aware and this honesty

Cuz' there's a loathing
Inside of me
It fills me up
With this jealousy
If I'm no good at anyone else
Can I please be good at my-
Can I please be good at my-
Can I please be good at myself?