​Liturgy Part Three

She said, “I'm not satisfied with being surrounded
I need you to break skin, I need you to break skin”
I said, “all of this could be avoided if I had a shovel
If I could dig out of this body I am in”

She found me again in the library digging up rhymes for a sonnet
She said, “don't focus on the meter, just try to be honest”
So of course a pattern formed of “I promise! I promise! I promise!”
I said, “I promise! I promise! I promise!
I won't let anyone bring you harm again”

Between a gallop and a trot is a canter
And a light that is lit is a lantern
And a speech that cannot reach remains just words
And they reside by your bedside and they will stay there, unheard
Except at night when the light's out and you drift into dream
And even there you'll be too scared to tell them what you mean
See, a river isn't done until a river is done
How can I go another day without swimming to the sun?
How can I go another day without saying what I want to say?
I bite my tongue and worry
Will the worry go away?
I tried to be like him, all cuss and spit, but something in me broke
I still need privacy especially as I grieve so please let me alone

I almost confessed but immediate regret
Made me quell my voice
Made me quell my voice
I got closer and I shook him as the violence overtook
And I said right in his ear
I said right in his ear
“What is it like to not want to die?”
“What is it like to not want to die?”
“What is it like to not want to die?”
“What is it like to not want to die?”
“What is it like to not want to die?”
“What is it like to not want to die?”
“What is it like to not want to die?”

“I promise! I promise! I promise!
I won't let anyone bring you harm again”