​Grief Poem (Everything’s Collapsing)

On the news, a man said I did not exist
He said he would not acknowledge my body, my blood
He said he would not acknowledge the way his words unraveled me
I shouted at the television, even if the words went to nobody
I said, “there's nothing wrong with my body, sir!”
But he didn't hear me, he was too busy setting the world on fire

So here I am again crying at what I don't even believe in
Here I am again not knowing if or when I'll see my far away friends
God, I want to bear-hug so many people that I can't

On the news a man said, “she asked for it.”
He then gave a definition of what he called “consent”
He said, “she was wearing clothes that clearly showed
What he sought, and so he got her drunk and took her home
Haven't you learned yet that this is what friends do?
And boys will be boys, men will be men, this world is not for you"

On the news a man said, “another one gunned down! but hey, we're here to help you, as long as you stay on the ground.”
They only saw his skin
So soon the bullets hit
And now a widow makes the beds at night for her frightened children who have to watch officials say they saved us from a villain, and that a uniform once it’s worn protects from retribution

So here I am again crying at what I don't even believe in
Here I am again not knowing if or when i'll see my far away friends
God I want to bear-hug so many people that i can't!

In the meantime, we're filling buckets with water
I guess we'll put out the fire when we're done getting warm on the embers

The noise in my head feels louder or perhaps I've just become quieter
All I know is it's all I can hear a voice that says i should disappear
See: they want to erase us or at least put us in cages
And then call it a nation
Well, I'm losing my patience

Oh, please don't go to the movies
Or, if you must, then let's sneak in for free and we'll leave before the ending

You know, so we don't have to watch ourselves die