Little Known Facts (Off-Broadway)

CHARLIE BROWN:
Hi, Linus. Where ya going?

LINUS:
Well Lucy's teaching me, Charlie Brown. She says, "A sister is responsible for the education of her little brother." So she's teaching me. Boy, is she intelligent

LUCY:
You see this tree? It is a fir tree
It's calles a fir tree because it gives us fur for coats
It also gives us wool in the winter time

LINUS:
That's very interesting, Lucy. I never knew that before

LUCY:
This is an elm tree. It's very little
But it will grow up into a giant tree—an oak
You can tell how old it is by counting it's leaves

LINUS
Gosh, that's fascinating Lucy

CHARLIE BROWN:
Now wait a minute, Lucy! I don't mean to interfere, but—

LUCY:
And way up there those fluffy little white things
Those are clouds, they make the wind blow
And way down there, those tiny little black things
Those are bugs, they make the grass grow

LINUS:
Is that so?

LUCY:
Uh huh. They run around all day long tugging and tugging at every tiny seedling till it grows up to be a giant blade of grass

LINUS:
Boy, that's amazing!

CHARLIE BROWN:
Oh, good grief!

LUCY:
And this thing here. It's called a hydrant
They grow all over, and no one seems to know
Just how a little thing like that gives so much water

See that bird? It's called an eagle
Since it's little it has another name—a sparrow
And on Christmas and Thanksgiving, we eat them

CHARLIE BROWN:
Lucy, how can you say such things? I'm sorry, but I just can't stand idly by and—

LUCY:
And way up there, the little stars and planets
Make the rain that falls in showers
And when it's cold and winter is upon us
The snow comes up! Just like the flowers

CHARLIE BROWN:
Now wait a minute, Lucy, now I know that's wrong. Snow does not come up, it comes down

LUCY:
After it comes up, the wind blows it around so it looks like it's coming down

CHARLIE BROWN:
Linus, that's not true—

LUCY:
But actually it comes up out of the ground, like grass

CHARLIE BROWN:
Lucy—

LUCY:
It comes up, Charlie Brown, snow comes up!

CHARLIE BROWN:
Oh, good grief!

LINUS:
Lucy, why is Charlie Brown banging his head against a tree?

LUCY:
To loosen the bark so the tree will grow faster