Leaving Everything

The thought of you popped in my head the other day
I tried to write about it but it wouldn't go away
Wish I could have seen you get better before you decayed
All I hope is that your safe and being treated okay
I remember the day
I watched you walk down the stairs into the courtyard and get into the car outside the gate
I remembered the way your hands felt on my face
Your laugh and your smile, the stupid ass jokes you would make
I think about the day if it ever comes and if I saw you what I would say
If its even reason for asking for you when I pray
The pain it causes me honestly even to this day
If I knew where you stayed, If I knew where you stayed
I'd drop it all with no hesitation and come racing to find you and whisk you away
And if I had my way I would tell God to go to hell cause I love you even down to how your armpits smell
Hyper focused on the dream that I'm trying to sell
Showing signs of aging from raging being inside hotels
Thinking bout going into the bathroom and punching the mirror on the wall as hard as I can and how good it would feel
Thinking bout the vices I used and how it used to feel to try to kill the feeling and feel anything other than real
I wanna feel the feel of time standing still
And I wanna kiss you again before I die and I will
Because nobody will ever fill the void that you left when you left if I'm left with this I would rather get killed
They say everything happens for a reason but what's the reason if the only reason is suffering and living in guilt