Kodiak

[Rebecca]
Randy, enough is enough! You are my boyfriend, and you do as I say! In fact, you are very good at it! Now, come here!

[Randy]
No! Why did I waste so much of post-puberty on you?

[Rebecca]
Excuse me?!

[Randy]
These are months I can't get back. Find another guy to hold the end of your tape measure!

[Rebecca]
How dare you?!

[Randy]
Stop!

[Eliot]
Don't get him mad, he'll start speaking in verse

[Rebecca]
Randy, let's talk about this

[Randy]
I said stop!

[Rebecca]
Calm down and listen to me!

[Verse 1: Randy]
No!
That was the last time you get the last word in
Go home, show's over, I'm closing the curtain
You're nothing but a burden, and you took my self-respect
Walking me around like there's a leash around my neck
Twenty-four hours with a Geiger counter counting
Gamma rays and beta particles that were amounting
To nothing, I found nothing! The cold hard fact is
You're the only thing I've found that's radioactive

[Chorus: Eliot, Moth, and Mustardseed]
Rebecca, you got him agitated
Sorry that you mutated more than a teenage ninja turtle
Rebecca, ten feet away, she's glowing
Don't try to stay, he's going
Dumping you is his final hurdle

[Verse 2: Randy]
You took my self-respect, Rebecca, see the wreck you've made of me
I'm mad as heck, Rebecca, show a speck of human decency
So absurd, have you not heard a word that I said recently?
I set my Geiger counter to a more attractive frequency
Oh!
Aurora's strong and makes me feel invincible
Is something wrong? Go run and tell the principal
The leash is off my neck, Rebecca, and there's no going back
Your widdle baby bear is now a Kodiak!

[Chorus: Eliot, Moth, and Mustardseed]
A big bear looking for different honey
Trust me, this isn't funny
He's much more than your arm candy
A big bear, he's down to Earth and worth it
Just a bit introverted
Everyone wants a piece of Randy

[Outro: Randy]
Tick-tock, tick-tock, look at the clock!
It's departure time, Rebecca, so hop into your cockpit
Nothing good comes out of being so co-dependent
Do you want a co-pilot? Nah, you want a flight attendant
I'm free to be the guy I wanna be
There's you and I, but there is no we
I got the key, you see? You're no longer my jailer
We're breaking up, Rebecca, toss me my inhaler

[Inhales]