Kid Twist vs Madness (2009)

[Round 1: Madness]
Ayo, I mastered my craft in rap so I know you ain't even close
Plus after that battle, him and Fresco reenacted the pottery scene from Ghost
I'ma notify your mother and call all your teachers
Cause we're still mad that you got Juno pregnant Paulie Bleeker
You're also sweater than Now & Laters fucking with a Florida alligator
Ayo Nerds are my favorite candy, but I ain't much into the "faggot" flavor
I bet your broke into a tranny's medicine box and and stole an estrogen shot
Inject it trying to develop feminine spots and out of necessity ate the rest of your cock
Yo, cause half of us don't even believe you're a guy, so who's your mama?
Cause either she's gonna tell us that you lied or that you're just Fried from Futurama
Looking like some Jewish rocker that confused his music genres
I'm just glad I get to do the honors or executing the Unabomber
There's only one thing you gotta realize when you're facing me son
I'm the American Michael Meyers, you're the Canadian one

[Round 1: Kid Twist]
You wanna talk about the guy I served yesterday? It's nothing major
But if you're having fantasies about Fresco you might be lucky player I heard he's a chubby chaser
Look, when you laugh your belly drops, cement cracks from the impact
You're the only guy that has to buy chin straps in ten packs
And I'd rather be a "nerdy emo" than the size of 30 people
He's an identity crisis, stuck between a dirty chico and a Jersey Guido
Cause when you first meet this chump, you'd swear he's Sicilian
But if you see his cunt it's clear he's Brazilian
You moved from F.L. to Cali and your status as a monster decreased
You were the bomb in the east now you're comic relief
But in The Bay he goes hyphy quick
Cause no car's big enough for your full size to fit so you have to ghost ride the whip
I give a fuck where you're so known
I battle you in your old home and stomp you so far in the ground I'll leave a hole in the O-Zone
Your music sucks and your logo is an embarrassing fetus
You're the slowest sperm to come out of America's penis

[Round 2: Madness]
Beaker from The Muppets calling me a little fat is a little overbearing
Plus you sound like you grew up in a fucking house where Andy Dick was both your parents
Trying to keep opponents staring at the weird shapes you comb your hair in
To distract the fact that you like dating rich men and going sailing
I bet you'd rather molest a 12 year old boy who's clothes you're sharing
Bitch you're weak and would get beat arm wrestling Dakota Fanning
Before the WRC, it was just him and his boys battling privately
Except when they had Gatherings it was more of the Magic variety
I tell you, "listen mister", but you'd probably get it Twisted, Sister
Screaming, "We're not gonna take it" into the flinching face of his mini Pincher
Yo you fucking nerdoid, don't you dare try yelling and screaming on me
Acting like Christian Bale on set, closest you come is having The Machinist's body
Yo trick, stick to holding mics wrong at Scribble and living with mom dukes
And bitching when she won't let you zip up your Tron suit

[Round 2: Kid Twist]
It's Tony Gomez
He acts real funny and hopes we notice
His rhymes are wack though, that's why the guys he battles are mostly homeless
But he became a made man and he's not even Italian
Shit the mafia boss probably thought, "He's fat, his name's Tony, he's gotta be a wop."
He didn't know what guys in the mob wear though
They told him, "Rock a fedora" he showed up in sombrero
Plus he's always shaking maracas while they're making their pasta
Talking like, "You should leave the gun. Take enchiladas."
And if you diss Canada you'll get buried alive
I fucked your little sister's American Pie and it was cherry inside
You wanna know why he seems so sensitive?
Cause he'll have three gold records shipped the day you elect a Latino president
And all your little battle rap jokes are too dumbed down
You are the Biggest Loser and didn't have to lose one pound
So no one on Earth would ever give you Pun's crown
What do I think of this fat ass Fonzie?
Ayyyyye...two thumbs down

[Round 3: Madness]
Ayo he dying if I attack him so how could you try and fathom?
Hardcore when in your top drawer you have a signed picture of Bryan Adams
Now why the fuck would I buy an album from so Theodore, Simon, Alvin
Childish sounding, whining, pouting, crying, shouting, giant falcon
Shiiit, you can't relate to my legacy cause you'll never be as great as me
Plus we just assume you're a liar cause I know you can never be straight with me
While I was mastering raps basics you were trying on slap bracelets
And I at the rate this faggot changes gear from man to bitch we should consider it drag racing
I bet you majored in 'Gaming' and sprinkled AIDS on your Canadian Bacon
Plus we all remember when you broke in Vince Vaughn's room in Wedding Crashers like, "I made you a painting."
Bro it must be tough when your girlfriend's the man of the house
She goes out and comes home drunk and you get slapped in the mouth
Screaming, "Where's my dinner!" and you cook her favorite meal choice
Plus you must be mad as fuck at all those auto tune rappers for stealing your real voice
So if we're comparing mine, I'll take the stomach over being a fairy sipping on cherry wine
Cause on the scale of life being fat outweighs being a faggot every time

[Round 3: Kid Twist]
Forget all those lines of coke that get snorted
This is the most weight that Columbia has ever exported
I knew you were a Colombian getting processed at Immigration
Not from your form but process of elimination
I mean he's not Cuban, no Communist rations cause his heaviness problem
Plus that raft would've sunk within seconds of launching
Dominicans run bases and you're out of breath when you're jogging
And Mexican, with the fences they're hopping it's even less of an option
Dude, I can't even believe your rep F.L
Cause if you mix a "failure" with a "loss" you get "F.L."
You talked all the shit when you left from your state too about how you felt they disgraced you
But how dope can you be when Mosh Jelton replaced you?
And no one's feeling your rap crew much
I mean Critical's alright but the other three and a half dude's suck
And he's so skinny cause I slid him my sandwich whenever I had to eat
So the person who made Madness so massive, that was me

{Madness wins the battle but they decide to go to overtime}

[Round 4: Kid Twist]
Listen, I'll admit I'm kinda star struck cause you'll be famous til death
As that dude who battled Solomon, lost to him and pronounced his name with an "S"
And when Illmac' faced you he slept
The dangerous threat was Dizaster
And Nocan' served you with a freestyle, but I forgot that doesn't matter
And you didn't beat The Saurus he lost to his smoking habits
Plus he proved in Oakland you couldn't roast him without the home advantage
So it's irrelevant if the judges take this decision from me
Your little quest to beat the best on the Earth already failed miserably
And now that you've got locked it back to the chop shop
Even when you suck your tummy in, it's like a bitch's ugly friend cause it always cock blocks
Plus your mom's cunt looks like an open dump truck
I can finger fuck that dumb slut while throwing a dub up
See you're such a homie you catch AIDS through eight rubbers
See Heavy D is rap's straight Overweight Lover
And Tony's got the gay's covered

[Round 4: Madness]
You wanna talk about my losses, you funny wack bitch
I should slap you with a fucking hollow hand (Hollohan) cause you don't know jack shit (Jack Shitt)
Ayo, in Canada gay marriage is legal so to them I seem type deadly
Bro, I'm just glad I was the first man y'all ever denied entry
And for heaven sake why don't you go get those metal legs cause how could you beat me?
Especially when you stand next to walls in your black jacket like, "How could he see me?"
I'm an 80's Grindhouse horror baby so killing zombies is nothing new
And somebody better tell Amy Winehouse watching skinny white bitches die is just something I'm accustomed to
You Twilight vampire fucking Jew
You had me a wee bit confused
Cause I was wondering why you don't just keep singing tunes for the B-52s
Love Shack baby!
And I'm the combination of Slayer and Sinatra joining together
While you sit at home crying to Weezer songs, destroying your Sweater
You choke on dicks like David Carradine
And this geek's so scared of me
I'ma have to start up a charity just to pay for his "emo" therapy
Shit bro, you can fit an entire Avacado, that kind, in your dick hole
And when you showed up rocking that haircut
I swear this was battle raps first Rick Roll
Never Gonna Give You Up