KARMA

I try to stay positive through whatever
I try to live up to people's standards whenever I can
I smile whenever it's appropriate to
Even though I'm only pretending to
I always try to do the right thing
Even though many times it really felt like the wrong thing to do
I try to do right for people way too much
I attempt to show up and look good for the person people believe me to be
This person who I believe is sacred and supreme god
Isn't she celestial, isn't she lovely
I believe they think I'm someone that they want to be a little something alike
And I think to myself
They don't want this for me
This mind game, this, this psych
Looking at shit differently is days like
I might be paying karma it's last dues but I feel like I got too much more to do, too much more to prove
I can hear Death singing her song in my ear
And boy do her blues sound pretty, like, she really put the time in
She really got me feelin' some kinda way
Like could somewhere else be a better place
I get bored too often here
I wanna jump off from here
Wanna feel the breeze and see the beauty as I'm falling
Then I want to panic until the parachute rises to catch me
I wanna trust for once
Wouldn't that be the right thing to do
To have faith in something even if there is no landing
Safely can't say
I truly even care if I'll land safely
More concerned if I'll land alone
Safe
Safe
(?)
Needing to be in control
Needing to marry a love story because I was taught that's all that will ever matter
Love
Even though
Through all my life
I can't say that's what mattered most