Jones from Indiana

The "product" we refer to is well equipped
In the service abilities of your common woman
Though in our opinion (and many others)
We have manufactured her to be far surperior
To that of any "common" woman
There are, of course, risks to be taken
Though we rarely recieve complaints from our clients
(That unreadable fine print)

Defective product
Has been known to wreak havoc upon small villages and town folk

(Make that sweet green philiosophical love)

Just sign here, initial here, then sign here, here, and here

(Your signature waives responsibility from Jones Inc
We apologize for any inconvenience)

Twelve months later...
Client: She's falling apart and she killed my dog
Sales representative: (silence)
Client: You know that once she swam in beauty?
Sales representative: That's true
Client: Well, where did it go?