John John Da Don vs. Kid Twist

[Round 1: John John Da Don]
Now when I heard this event was called Back To The Basics
I pictured us in the hood with all the cracks in the pavement
Where the hood rats don't never speak but the ratchets be waving
The guns like proud parents, they do all the clapping and raisin'
But not a white boy, I don't mean for that to be racist
But where's Charron? At least he was on Black Entertainment
Now I'm pissed, cause what is this? Charron's faggot replacement?
You getting stuck underground like you trapped in the basement
But I wonder what you mother thinks of this
She's prolly with your dad
Watching all your footage on Youtube, they prolly getting mad
Cause battle after battle, she watching everybody whip yo' ass
You must be 'Brenda's Baby' cause it's apparent that mother thinks Kid is trash
I guess y'all using me to get him poppin' again
So you should change your profession cause he's not gonna win
How about a Jamaican hairstylist? I mean that shouldn't be a problem my friend
Cause you done brought Twist in here (hair) now you gon' dread lock this in
What's your angle?
(Don't anybody wanna hear some fucking bars?)
What's your angle?
How I'm lost cause I talk about how my pound spread?
Well I'd rather be lost alive then found dead
I'll give Twist the metal Twisted Metal than fire on this clown head
This clown said, he don't make music, he just battle rap
Blatant disrespect to the real niggas that have to rap
So leave this hip hop culture alone
Techno fans y'all can have him back
I'll pop corns and box him so it's nothing to get this Cracker Jack'ed
I'm only cause I'm getting that cash
There's a body and it's time for you to get in that bag
And just know, when you get done spitting that...funny shit
There's still two more rounds of me whipping that ass

[Round 1: Kid Twist]
You're talking about flames to the clowns head and Twisted Metal
That was a nice scheme, but
You couldn't have people excited with your music if you drove an ice cream truck
You deserve a platinum plaque for having the worst name in battle rap
There's a guy here named Sonic Soundwaveus, and your name is worse than that
Even your acronym is bad: JJDD
What, is there a hidden message to discover?
Like you're a DJ who's dyslexic with a stutter?
If all I knew was your name, I would say you were white
15 and haven't seen the hood a day in your life
And when your mom asked, "John John, pass the plate to your right."
You're like, "Mom, you didn't add 'The Don'! You're not saying it right!"
But I'll bring the real reason for your name into light
You're a double John cause hookers make you start paying them twice
I'll shit on your repeated schemes and all of your void threats
Cause it's number two only on multiple choice tests
You're the seventh best rapper who's come out of Yonkers, that's the truth
It goes L.O.X., DMX, Wapps & Juice then after you
But when you're from a city that shitty, nothing can really help
I mean Tyler, The Creator was in a video called "Yonkers" and he killed himself
I guess AngryFan got an anger management plan
Started cracking smiles then lost his anger and fans
You even remind me of his blogs and how he intros them all
Your writings strictly involve throwin' random shit at the wall
But when it comes to his music, John John is John Cage
Your most famous song is one that's not played
'Cause based on your battles, we never buy what you put in stores
It's Marty McFly at the school dance 'cause no one's heard 'Johnny Be Good' before!
You've got a basic style, a basic flow that fits a basic kind of beat
Your basic lines are barely at the baseline to compete
So when they said this match would fit on Back To Basics, I agreed
'Cause rapping basic is your niche and I'm the basis of this league

[Round 2: John John Da Don]
Just as I expected
Sarcasm and some corny jokes but that shit only works
In a room, full of corny folks
You got to go along to get along, ain't that how the story go?
So for me, too black round whites tough, I'm not an Oreo
You bore me bro
With your dry delivery and simple wordplay
From your wardrobe to your gestures, you epitomize the word "gay"
Y'all done made your own Olympics and then threw me in the nerd race
But I'ma let him win, cause I only came to give him the metal in the first place
Gun bars, and I got more so don't fuck with me
I brought my Nina a friend, why? 'Cause she enjoys company
I feel like Andy with Buzz and Woody, these toys stuck with me
I let 'em take turns with Kid like joint custody
But luckily, you ain't really built for that kind of war
So if you don't wanna end up holy, book, but that's what they made Bibles for
Two battles in one day, and I wrote for both of them the night before
They say I'm breaking records like I sabotaged the vinyl store
But what have you done that's significant?
I'm listenin'
I mean you did enter the Grand Prix...but you didn't win
Now then again, you was the former champ that used to get it in
Until Hollohan, aka G.O.D. put you away like you committed sins
I can't describe that battle, cause I only watched one part of it
I skipped right to the end, to see who wins to make sure that last bar would hit
Without a vest on your chest to protect that little heart in it
It's gon' be impossible to stand this still (steel) like you got Parkinson's
I'm only here cause I'm getting that cash
This is a body and it's time for you to get in that bag
So just know, when you get done spittin' that trash
There's still one more round of me kickin' that ass

[Round 2: Kid Twist]
Your tattoos are the "white girl, music is my life" starter pack
You walked in the shop, saw their shitty flash art wall of tats
And said, "All of that"
And your beard looks like you're wearing a neck pillow
You need to see a barber and quick
Your own mustache refuses to be a part of this shit
See, you don't get props for your bars, just for the trips you take to perform
Like nobody's lost in as many different places before
Take it from me, you're like the kid who didn't make it in sports
You've been getting the Battle Rap Participation Award
Against Eurgh, you said "Jean Claude you're Van Damme"
That's the shit that's depletin' the scene
But it all makes sense, guys: he said he was Wolverine in a dream
If your bars require a dream sequence, they're automatically terrible
But beyond that, the whole concept is so wack it's unbearable
Like, "Shit is real. They're caught in Vans out here."
He might just catch a case
If he sees you doing under ten and runs up to slightly scratch your paint
You thought Don't Flop was a step to grow, but it was all a set-up though
Eurgh just needed content for Bad Bars episodes
It's like you're recording tracks in jail and have vocals to send
When you flow from the pen we can tell you're phoning it in
Like when you say a line over again
And you purposely bend it then claim at first we don't get it
Of course we don't, motherfucker! You changed the words in the sentence
But it's not just your bars, John: the way you put them is weak
And that monotone like you're aggressively reading books to a beat
Insomniacs hear Johnny rappin', they're good for a week
Call him Obama, his drone can put you to sleep

[Round 3: John John Da Don]
Now when I heard I was battlin' Kid Twist
There was something I couldn't get off my brain
Cause wasn't you like 22 in '09? Okay, now you got some shit to explain
Now I'm not calling you a creep because you damn near 30 tryin' to get in the game
But what kind of grown audience could you be targeting with "Kid" in your name?
You a foot job folder away from being a pedophile
I bet your mother had a water birth and shit got wet and wild
Cause when the midwife pulled you out the pussy she said, "Let it drown"
She had a will to see you die in that tub when you were Seven Pounds
So settle down, I still tell my haters they can "suck dick"
They'll ride your wave 'til they go overboard, that's how they jump ship
These rappers say my name til I respond and then they duckin'
I feel like Magic Johnson, the most accomplished PG that everybody's scared to fuck with
The day you get married, I'm flyin' in for that weekend
To bring your wife to America, but I'ma send her back freakin'
Cut you off if I tell her to, my pimpin' that decent
She won't even claim Kid during income tax season
I guess you thought, I was coming with some wack shit
Sorry, this ain't what you expected, you been Catished
I'm battle rap's Raymond Reddington, and guess who's on the blacklist?
A white bitch that thinks she got her own lane, Danica Patrick
This is practice, and you really tryin' hard right now
I know you wishing you wrote some gun bars right now
And you pissed, Organik got you on this card right now
I'm sending you to meet Reed, get in the car right now
I mean, I'm sorry if y'all came for a fight
But God's calling I think it's time to make your way to the light
But please don't say The John if you ain't saying it twice
And if you don't add "The Don" you ain't sayin' it right

[Round 3: Kid Twist]
Since you still bring up your one scrap like it's a big deal
Let's get Dumb' here to try out some kick drills
Make you Don Quixote: see how you fight against windmills
But I won't mention who it was in that brawl you were boxing with
Cause snuffin' someone this week, that's a Hollow accomplishment
You just repeat yourself, John
Maybe bring some tighter shit
Another catchphrase is John's way to finish writin' quick
Like there's a loop in John's brain of some simple lines of script
If we're in The Matrix John makes me think it might be glitched
Battles suck now, John's phrases symbolize the shit
The crowd's his backing track, John's great at synchronizing lips
You know what you'll hear John say every single time he spits
Your rap name should be John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt!
'Cause even without the catchphrases, all your lines are the same
They're like the .9 that you wave, you don't take them outside of a range
So in real life, with a threat intent on doing you harm
You'll have my awkward stage presence: you won't know what to do with your arms
Example: Let's say someone breaks in your crib
Your wife screams loud enough to wake up the neighbors
You grab the heat but then you freeze when you face up to danger
You have the right to bare arms from a Declaration on paper
So when you say your Constitution won't let you do it, I mean what makes up your nature?
But I don't hate you, John John Da Don
I hope that you're gettin' paid
I hope these battles live up to a livin' wage and put food on some dinner plates
I heard you might have a kid to raise, I hope they get terrific grades
And you have college tuition saved at an excellent interest rate
I hope they benefit from the hard work and sacrifice it must take
For these people to listen to your shit for six minutes straight
You rapped on the East and West coast in a single day
That's something no one else copies
He's a Looper: he traveled back in time to get himself bodied