Jasmine [c. 2013]

[Verse 1: College Smart]
Starting this song is harder for me than starting conversations
Slowing down my words while my mind tries to keep my thoughts racing
The fuck I take these pills for?
Or maybe I'm just never satisfied with a normal life and I ain't got the will for it
Maybe I'm just burnt out
Or maybe I'm depressed
If that's the case then I need her more than ever while I get this off my chest
Nowadays I find it hard to see myself in the mirror
Cause all I see is my regrets
Everytime I try to move forward
The farther I regress
Feels like 100 days since we last spoke
But I keep reading though our texts
She said she loved me but she can’t love me enough to help her deal with all the stress
This hurts too much, somebody help
How can she deal with all my shit if I ain’t strong enough to deal with it myself?
I’m sorry, I’m so sorry
Why did this sounds so familiar?

Same shit my father used to tell my mother
Push her to her last straw then tell her he loves her
And apologize and apologize like 20 times over
Knowing that it always blows over
Until that last straw he had to throw on the camels back
She had the last cigarette from her Camel pack
And the stress overflowed her, she told him “pack your shit ‘cause it’s over”
Then he spent the night on Uncle Dick’s sofa
And he never came back… He never came back

[Hook: College Smart]
I love my father but I promise I won’t tell you the same lies as him
I’d give up anything to know I'd never make you cry again
And if there is a god then he can take me if I'm lying
I’d give up anything to know I'd never make you cry again

[Hook: College Smart]
It’s 4AM and I’ve been staring at the ceiling
For an hour, all the while I’ve been processing my feelings
I was faking I was sleeping
She hears my heart beating as she’s leaving
I know she knows I worry about her creeping
But I don’t want her to to think I worry for no reason
Cause she just got a 3am text and after checking
She got dressed and she up and left without us speaking
What would you think?
Tonight I promised not to feel them feelings
But it started with that drink
The last time she stole my heart she left with everything
Except the kitchen sink
Can you blame me? I find it easier to just blame her
Why can’t she make it easy hate her?
I can’t do it, she’s too unusual
She’s too smart, too funny and too beautiful
She’s too selfish, won’t let me go to sleep
She staying in my dreams
Which has turned all of my days into nightmares
And now I can’t tell the difference
I reached out to her cause I swear last time she was right there
But now she’s gone

[Hook: College Smart]
I love my father but I promise I won’t tell you the same lies as him
I’d give up anything to know I'd never make you cry again
And if there is a god then he can take me if I'm lying
I’d give up anything to know I'd never make you cry again

[Verse 3: College Smart]
Although it hurts, I mean it when I say I wish her well
What would you think if I said I believe in fairy tales
I grew up like Aladdin, was on my way to being a bad man
Then came across a woman like Jasmine
Who picked me off the ground
She saved me from the depths of that rock bottom I found
I’m grateful, and at this point
I admit it feels bittersweet to thank her
So I just watch as she walk away
And as the clock strikes 12 I ask for one more chance
The bar is open til 1 can I get one more dance?
Eyes peeled in the parking lot, looking for her glass slipper
Who am I kidding? I know she only wear high heels
And her chariot, traded in that pumpkin for a beamer
So this could be the last time I see her
‘Cause I know, yeah I know, I know
She means it when we break up
Yet when I’m drunk I’m waiting on texts
She probably thinks I’m waiting on sex
But I’m still staring at my ceiling reflecting
I wonder if we’ll ever reach our happy ending