It’s Not Me, It’s You

[Prince Hans]
Across the sea in the Southern Isles
The Westergaurds lived in exile
Our fall from grace was a long way down
So to make my mark, I would need a crown

I was thirteenth in line, so I had no shot
But a princess bride? Now there's a thought
I had one chance, I knew I couldn't fail
So I set my sights on Arendelle

Their queen-to-be was meh and cold
But her younger sister was cute, sold!
We met, we clicked, we sang and danced
Then I thought, "Hey Hans, now here's your chancе."

I popped the question, and shе said yes!
But now here's the part where it becomes a mess:
Our wedding date was set, but then my bride takes off
When she comes back, she says "Meet Kristoff"

She changed her mind, although God knows why
And I thought, "There goes my alibi!"
Who dumps a prince? Sure, I'm insincere
But for some random guy who talks to reindeer?

[Anastasia and Drizella]
Can't you hear my heart, please
She can't see what we see
It wasn't meant to be
Maybe now he'll choose me
No, me!

After all you've been through
She doesn't deserve you
One thing that I know is true

[Prince Hans]
It's not me, it's you

[Gaston, spoken]
I mean, did she think she was going to do better than a prince?

[Anastasia, spoken]
Well, Mother says it's a sign of poor breeding when some chooses a peasant over someone with grace and poise

[Drizella, spoken]
Yeah, which explains why no one wants you!

[Anastasia, spoken]
You're just jealous!

[Drizella, spoken]
Am not!

[Anastasia, spoken]
Are too!

[Gaston, spoken]
Ladies, ladies, stop bickering and pay attention to more imporatant things. Like me

[Gaston]
In a quiet little village in the south of France
I could make girls melt with a passing glance
I had trophies on the wall from the wars I won
And the widows afterwards? Heh, that was fun

Everything was perfect in my perfect life
But there was something missing, and that was a wife
She'd cook, she'd clean, she'd be with the kids all day
Then she'd call me perfect and do anything I say

There was only one choice for my wife-to-be
She was gorgeous, and everyone in town agreed
The only girl who didn't throw herself at me
What would you call that?

[Random people in the back]
Dignity!

[Gaston]
I said, "Belle, good news, you're going to be my bride
It's your lucky day, but there's one downside
The entire town thinks your weird and strange
But I've got it, all you have to do is change

Everything about yourself and the town won't talk
'Cause right now, your friends are a candle and a clock!"
She turned me down 'cause she disagreed
She threw me out and said she'd rather read

[Anastasia and Drizella]
Can't you hear my heart, please
She can't see what we see
It wasn't meant to be
Maybe now he'll choose me
No, me!

After all you've been through
She doesn't deserve you
One thing that I know is true

[Gaston]
It's not me, it's you

[Hans, spoken]
She sounds like a monster

[Gaston, spoken]
Heh, the monster's who she left me for! And you don't fall in love with monsters, you kill them!

[Random people]
Yeah!

[Gaston, spoken]
So I got every villager with a torch and pitchfork to save her!

[Random people]
Yeah!

[Gaston, spoken]
Which makes me a hero! I'm still the most admired man in the village! No, in all of France!

[Random people]
Yeah!

[Frollo, spoken]
Women certainly do have a strange way of showing their appreciation for their... true heroes

[Jafar]
Yes. I've always thought it best when I've had the choice
That a woman should be silent and have no voice

[Frollo]
When a maiden with a mind meets a man with power
She must know her place or it all goes sour

[Jafar]
As men of wealth

[Frollo]
Influence

[Prince Hans]
Prestige

[Gaston]
Are we not all fine specimens?

[All men]
Indeed

[Jafar]
They think that love is blind and it can't be bought
[Frollo]
Yes, but that's a lesson, and it can be taught

[Gaston]
Yeah, listen to the man and ignore the wife
That's the only way for a happy life

[Jafar]
The choice is simple: choose me and thrive
[Frollo]
Or have it your way and be burned alive

[Maleficent, spoken]
Well, well. What have we here? A gathering of men blaming a woman for all their woes? How... innovative

[Maleficent]
Once upon a time, a familiar story
A desperate king needed fame and glory
Had to be the hero for the world to see
He fooled everyone, but he didn't fool me

No one ever asked how he got that crown
Or woman by his side as he pushed her down
He would have to pay for his behavior
A baby gift with a little... flavor

[Hans, Gaston, Jafar, and Frollo, (Anastasia and Drizella)]
The difference between you and me
Is now I'm living happily
I can't say I'm sorry
It just wasn't meant to be
(Choose me!)

After all we've been through
We can see a new view
One thing we know now is true

[Hans]
It's not me

[Gaston]
It's not me

[Jafar]
It's not me

[Frollo]
It's not me

[All, (Anastasia and Drizella)]
It's...
(How can it be me if the problem's...)
You!