It Couldn’t Please Me More

[FRÄULEIN SCHNEIDER]
If you bought me diamonds
If you bought me pearls
If you bought me roses
Like some other gents
Might bring to other girls
It couldn't please me more
Than the gift I see
A pineapple for me

[HERR SCHULTZ]
If in your emotion
You began to sway
Went to get some air
Or grabbed a chair
To keep from fainting dead away
It couldn't please me more
Than to see you cling
To the pineapple I bring

[FRÄULEIN SCHNEIDER & HERR SCHULTZ]
Ah

[FRÄULEIN SCHNEIDER]
I can hear Hawaiian breezes blow

[FRÄULEIN SCHNEIDER & HERR SCHULTZ]
Ah

[HERR SCHULTZ]
It's from California

[FRÄULEIN SCHNEIDER]
Even so
How am I to thank you?

[HERR SCHULTZ]
Kindly let it pass

[FRÄULEIN SCHNEIDER]
Would you like a slice?

[HERR SCHULTZ]
That might be nice
But frankly, it would give me gas

[FRÄULEIN SCHNEIDER]
Then we shall leave it here
Not to eat, but see

[FRÄULEIN SCHNEIDER & HERR SCHULTZ]
A pineapple

[FRÄULEIN SCHNEIDER]
For me

[HERR SCHULTZ]
From me

[FRÄULEIN SCHNEIDER & HERR SCHULTZ]
Ah, ah

[FRÄULEIN SCHNEIDER, spoken]
But you must not bring me any more pineapples, do you hear?
It's not proper
It's a gift a young man might present to his lady love
It makes me blush

[HERR SCHULTZ, spoken]
But no one, no one in all Berlin is more deserving
If I could, I would fill your entire room with pineapples

[FRÄULEIN SCHNEIDER & HERR SCHULTZ]
A pineapple

[HERR SCHULTZ]
For you

[FRÄULEIN SCHNEIDER]
From you

[FRÄULEIN SCHNEIDER & HERR SCHULTZ]
Ah, ah

[FRÄULEIN SCHNEIDER, spoken]
Ha ha ha, but now, I think I must lie down for a few minutes
My head is spinning

[HERR SCHULTZ, spoken]
So, good evening, Fräulein

[FRÄULEIN SCHNEIDER, spoken]
Good evening, Herr Schultz
I am overwhelmed